Manager to coworker in next office: Why does it smell like rotten meat in here?
Coworker: Oh, sorry. I'll put my shoes back on.
Chicago, Illinois
Manager to coworker in next office: Why does it smell like rotten meat in here?
Coworker: Oh, sorry. I'll put my shoes back on.
Chicago, Illinois
Female cube dweller to coworker: Stop that, you don't know me well enough to bite my nipples!
Rockford, Illinois
Boss: There’s no ‘I’ in ‘unity’! Wait… There’s no ‘me’ in ‘team’!
Employees: [Laughter.]
300 East Randolph Street
Chicago, Illinois
Engineer #1: Drew*, you’re having corned beef again?
Team leader: Yeah, I got a big piece of it and cooked it all at once.
Engineer #2: Did you get it at Costco? It’s real cheap there.
Team leader: Yeah, but the thing that sucks is it shrinks when you put it in the oven. You’re thinking you have a big piece of meat, and then you pull it out and you’re all disappointed.
Deer Park, Illinois
Overheard by: office peon/cubicle monkey
Bubbly girl: You know what’s a funny word? ‘Fucker…’ And ‘bitches.’
Oak Lawn
Cook County, Illinois
Overheard by: erin
Office liar: The Navy hires very conservative people to captain nuclear submarines.
Male coworker: Really?
Office liar: Yeah, every nuclear submarine captain I’ve ever met has been very level-headed.
Female coworker: How many nuclear submarine captains have you met?
Office liar: Hundreds!
West Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Worker #1: German Shepherds used to terrorize the Congolese when the British were colonizing. That’s one of the reasons that the Congolese didn’t like George Foreman when he fought there.
Worker #2: Oh, I thought you were going to say that is why black people don’t like dogs.
Sears Tower
Chicago, Illinois
Girl to coworker: I want to meet this handsome man… who likes to sleep with men in the forest.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Oblivious coworker: Yeah, those Australians are always doing that crazy stuff.
Coworker: They wrestle kangaroos, too.
Oblivious coworker: Wait! Are kangaroos real?
Chicago, Illinois
