Illinois

Boss: We’re trying to fit a round square into a peg hole.

53 West Jackson Boulevard
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Mark

Male coworker to female coworker: Naw! You should just put out for the iPhone.

Oakbrook Terrace, Illinois

Overheard by: Corporate America Ate My Young Adulthood

Secretary: I’m going to Target at lunch. You need anything?
V.P.: Underwear! I always need underwear!
Secretary: Um…I’m not really comfortable with that.

1501 Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois

Overheard by: Pirate Wench

Sales rep, returning from a meeting: Just because we have brains does not mean we’re smart!

State Street
Rockford, Illinois

Overheard by: Summer Intern

Wishful thinking peon on phone: Yes, I can meet with this Simon guy. It’s not that Simon from American Idol, is it? Oh? That’s too bad… I guess I’ll still meet with him, though.

111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Hear No Evil

Lady peon #1: Have you been following this e-mail chain? Derek* wrote that he was going to send his ninja friends after her, and Karen* wrote back, ‘Which ones? Leonardo or Donatello?’ Then Derek replied, ‘Splinter.’
Lady peon #2: I love Splinter!
Lady peon #1: Yeah, me too. That’s what I was going to write back to them.

555 West Monroe Street
Chicago, Illinois

Student #1: I had a real question! I really wanted to know the answer, and he acted like it was a joke.
Student #2: So. what was the question?
Student #1: How does a blind person know when they’re done wiping?
Student #2: … What, there’s no punch line?
Student #1: That’s what my teacher asked, but I really want to know the answer — it’s a valid question!
Student #2: Well, I’ll ask my uncle next time I see him.

Elevator, Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois

Project manager: I hate it when people tell you they have to look for something, because then they have to find it.

Oak Brook, Illinois

Assistant: Is this poster going to be mandatory?
Manager: We’re going to treat this as being required, but not mandatory.

227 W. Monroe Street
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Caleb Yarian

Cube chick #1: I thought you put that up so everyone could see.
Cube chick #2: Nope. This is just for me. (deep sigh) I don't know why they made her bald.
Cube chick #1: I think they're trying to make her look 3-d.

Carol Stream, Illinois

Overheard by: eh what?