Lady worker: There’s a party in my uterus!
South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Meg
Lady worker: There’s a party in my uterus!
South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Meg
IT slave: I returned the config to default, but the site still doesn’t work. Must be something else.
Developer: Nuke the site from orbit?
IT slave: Did that, too, but it turns out the queen alien was still clinging to the belly of the drop ship.
411 1st Avenue South
Seattle, Washington
Lady: I don’t like catfish. Catfish scare me ’cause I’m afraid they can walk.
Coworker: Do you eat the eyes?
414 East 12th Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Woman, about bald Britney: She looks like a little child from Auschwitz!
Man: If only.
1040 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Overheard by: Limey
Guy #1: Is this a picture of your daughter?
Guy #2: Yeah. She’s really starting to fill out.
1501 E. Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Customer: So, yeah, the wedding’s off. I just couldn’t deal with her mother, you know?
Salesgirl: Totally.
Customer: She was just always sticking her nose into our business — we couldn’t get a moment of peace.
Salesgirl: Yeah.
Customer: And then, of course, [my wife] goes and tells her about my impotence, and it all went downhill from there.
Salesgirl: God. Well, you did the right thing. Just hang in there.
Customer: Mmm. Anyway, it was really nice meeting you, Julie*.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
Sales assistant on phone: What? I thought you were a boy. Well, as long as they don’t match.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: what?
Gay customer: Excuse me, [points to employee] is that man gay?
Clerk: I’m not sure
Gay customer: He comes off as gay.
Clerk: I guess…
Gay customer, turning to boyfriend: I wouldnt bang him, would you?
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Female coworker: … And you know what she did? She went to hug me, and when she did they shot her.
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
