Employee #1, on ant infestation: I noticed there were a few just walking around by themselves on my desk.
Employee #2: Those are scouts! Kill them or they’ll go back and tell the others the coast is clear, then you’ll have a rope of them!
Employee #1: I know, so I tried breaking the legs on one of them hoping he’d go back and tell the others not to come, it’s not safe, but all he did was walk around in circles on my desk, so I just smashed him.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Employee #3
Co-worker #1: Oh, no way!
Co-worker #2: What?
Co-worker #1: Taylor Hicks is People magazine’s #1 hottest bachelor.
Co-worker #2: Taylor Hicks, the American Idol guy?
Co-worker #1: Yeah.
Co-worker #2: Is that for the Braille edition?
955 Peachtree Parkway
Cumming, Georgia
Boss: It’s not like I was banging her in the supply closet.
Bigger boss: But you did bang her in the supply closet and in your office… And, for that matter, my fucking office, you asshole.
Boss: Yeah, but those were different occasions.
Alpharetta, Georgia
Coworker #1: When I was at the hospital, they had this harp player that went around the hospital and played.
Coworker #2: Uh, are you sure they had a harp player? You may have just been on the brink of death, you know.
Dacula, Georgia
Female boss on phone: I have never seen one that big, I don't think I can handle one that big.
Pharmacy
Atlanta, Georgia
Secretary: Oh, come on. You can do more than you can do.
Boss: I try… It just won’t work.
Cumming, Georgia
Female boss: We need to add more scrotum!
Male designer: … Are you serious?
Female boss: Yeah, apparently we’re missing a few.
Male designer: Got it. Where’s the scrotum?
Alpharetta, Georgia
Overheard by: The Other Designer
Coworker #1 on phone: No, no, no, dammit! I swear, I’m going to hang up — I mean it, I’m going to hang up. No. No. No! Dammit, I said I am going to hang up!
Coworker #2 walks over, removes phone, slams it down: There, now we can all get back to our lives!
Coworker #1 redials: Sorry baby, some crazy twat I work with is having a bad day… What? What?! No! No! No! Dammit, I hate you! I’m hanging up!
Alpharetta, Georgia
Coworker: You're pissed at me because Dave* wants to eat you!?
Alpharetta, Georgia
Cashier: Okay, your total is $9.63, and can I have you first name for the order?
Customer: McKnight.
Cashier: McKnight?
Customer: Yes.
Cashier: That’s your first name?
Customer: Yes.
Cashier: Your mother didn’t like you very much, did she?
Panera Bread
Evans, Georgia
Overheard by: Phil
