Georgia

4PM You Know the Drill

Co-worker: Oh crap. We’re having a fire drill today? That fucking sucks. It’s too fucking cold for that shit.
Drill Captain: Yes, I know…but they are important. We need to do them at least twice a year.
Co-worker: How the fuck are they important? Did you miss fire safety week in the first grade? You don’t know what to do if there is a fire? Well, here you go: take the stairs down to the lobby and go outside away from the fire. Shit, you probably still get into strangers’ cars if they offer you candy.

3350 Riverwood Parkway
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: nicolette

That Thick Wooden Skull Would Sure Burn Up Nice

Office manager: In the event of fire, please use the emergency stair cases. If anyone has any problems with physical exercise–for example, if you’re pregnant–please let me know so I can help you out of the building.

The room full of men burst out laughing. The Office manager simply looked around, confused.

115 Perimeter Center Place, NE
Atlanta, Georgia

…Particularly If They're a Non-Bra-Wearing Lady.

Employee #1 on walkie talkie: Do we have any Georgia Tech flags?
Employee #2 on walkie talkie: Just give 'em a t-shirt and tell 'em to wave it over their head.

Atlanta, Georgia

Double-Dealing, Backstabbing Electronic Tattletale!

Speaker during break: That double dealing, backstabbing son of a bitch. I wouldn't trust him further than I could throw him. (taps on mike) Is this microphone off?

Town Hall Meeting
Marietta, Georgia

We'll Be Doing a Demonstration, Followed by a Brief Q&A

Office manager (over the intercom): Whoever had a problem with the new toilet, please report to the bathroom at this time.

Warner Robins, Georgia

Overheard by: I just work here.

These Bibles Aren't Gonna Sell Themselves

Boss to office employees, about receptionist: We're gonna need Jennifer to start wearing provocative clothing to get some customers in here!

Marietta, Georgia

Overheard by: Sure, I'll slut it up for you a bit…

They May Be Deltas

Guy #1: I really want to find this book that I read in high school… It was called, like, Brave New World or something.
Guy #2: Um, no, you’re thinking of ‘I Can Show You the World.’
Guy #1: Oh! … Wait, no, that’s that song from Aladdin.
Guy #2: Oh, yeah… So what section would it be in?
Guy #1: I don’t know, Fiction? No, wait — Non-fiction!

Barnes and Noble
Savannah, Georgia

Overheard by: Leia

12PM Follow Up with Building Maintenance

Employee #1: Why is it so cold in here?
Employee #2: Maybe it’s the gigantic hole in the ceiling.

4770 Buford Highway
Atlanta, Georgia

5PM Pick Up Kids

Teacher on phone: But [Matt], it’s just the sound of a gun. The audience won’t even see it!…Not even the sound effect?…Are you kidding me?…So, what, we’re not allowed to do Hamlet now because somebody has to die in the end?…I know they don’t use real swords; we aren’t using a real gun!…How is anyone supposed to die?

2155 Napier Avenue
Macon, Georgia

The Global War on Terror Hits Another Snag

Tech #1: There. Translations are done. All nine languages.
Tech #2: That was fast. I didn’t even know you spoke Arabic much less any of the others.
Tech #1: It’s easy — just highlight the text and change the font.
Tech #2: What?!
Tech #1: Yeah. We should hear back from the Army in a day or so. I went ahead and sent the new files off.
Tech #2: [Huge sigh.]

2000 Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Atlanta, Georgia

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