Lady peon on phone: I don’t know… That whole Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is overrated.
1212 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Lady peon on phone: I don’t know… That whole Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is overrated.
1212 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Shipping manager: Man, something smells good over here!
Nearby cube girl: It’s not me!
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Countin’ down the days…
Old man peon looking at photograph: This is dated 1873 — a year before Pabst won the ribbon!
Washington, DC
Salesman on phone: Yes, I’m calling to speak to Stan*.
Guy answering phone: One moment, I’ll see if he’s in the office. [Muffled] Stan, there’s someone on the phone for you. What should I tell them?
Stan: No, tell them I’m not here.
Guy answering phone, to salesman: I’m sorry, sir, he must have stepped out. Hhe’s not in the shop.
Salesman: Are you kidding? I could hear you yell, ‘Stan, there’s someone on the phone for you,’ and then he yelled back, ‘Tell them I’m not here…’
Guy answering phone: Oh, sorry… Yeah, I should have muted it. Yeah, he’s actually in the shower right now and can’t get to the phone.
Salesman: … I’ll call back later.
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Andrew
Senior officer: The event went really well. The speaker was fantastic.
Mid-level officer: Oh, who was the speaker?
Senior officer, after long pause: I gotta go.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Employee #1: I’ve never worked in an office building where there are so many plants. It’s getting to look like a jungle in here.
Employee #2: I don’t care about how it looks. I’m just worried that these plants are going to use up all of our oxygen.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Shop foreman: I wish I was a woman so I could be pretty.
I-40 East
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Jocelyn
Boss, during staff meeting: Does anyone have anything to add?
Coworker: Yeah, I just wanted to say that–
Boss: –Man, this coffee tastes weird! [Shrugs and continues drinking.]
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Worker bee: I don’t have his cell phone, but he’s always at his desk… Except when he isn’t.
4339 Corporate Center Drive
Las Vegas, Nevada
Lawyer: Does it smell in here?
Secretary: Yeah, it smells like bacon.
Lawyer: It smells like the kind of bacon grasshoppers eat.
Bridgewater, New Jersey
