Large, bearded interviewee: … And I have to tell you that I do smoke pot… But I used to do construction, and I was high the whole time I did that, and that’s a lot more dangerous than this.
Addison, Texas
Overheard by: curtis
Large, bearded interviewee: … And I have to tell you that I do smoke pot… But I used to do construction, and I was high the whole time I did that, and that’s a lot more dangerous than this.
Addison, Texas
Overheard by: curtis
Customer: What are all of those light switches for?
Store clerk, without looking up: For turning things on and off.
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: Chandra
Marketing assistant: He’s really changed his tune on that.
PR associate: Yup, he’s come around 360 degrees.
Marketing assistant: If not more!
105 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
CSR #1 on phone: Hello, are you there? Marco? Marco?
CSRs #2 and #3, simultaneously: Polo? Polo?
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Ghetto customer: My daiquiri tastes like water.
Waiter: I’m sorry, sir. What may I bring you instead?
Ghetto customer: Water.
Dulaney Valley Road
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: shaking my head
Caller on speakerphone: Is so-and-so in?
Office girl: No, he’s out for the week.
Caller on speakerphone: Okay, well, I had you transfer me to what’s-his-name before. Is he in?
Office girl: No, I think he’s gone for the day.
Caller on speakerphone: Do you even work there, or are you just an answering service?
Office girl: Ummm…
Wisconsin Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Teacher: Do you all know your Roman numerals?
Student: Yeah — aren’t them those noodles you eat?
Rosedale Street
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: MsTchr4678
Woman peon, going to holiday party: So, did you RSVP to this, or just talk to Sandy*?
Bimbette peon: I RSVP-ed — it’s so rude not to. I have a friend who I always invite out, and she never comes.
Woman peon: I hate one-sided friendships.
Bimbette peon: Yeah, I mean, she has MS, but she’s always using it as an excuse not to go out. I leave her phone messages, and her husband will call me back and say that she can’t go out because her MS is bad. I mean, come on!
Woman peon: That’s terrible. How long has she had it?
Bimbette peon: Since I’ve known her… So, 1995. But, I mean, can’t you take a pill for something like that and be okay for a while? The least she could do is return a phone call.
8521 Leesburg Pike
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Lindsay
Boss, quietly singing: I’m a chubby little monkey, monkey, monkey — I’m a chubby little monkey…
Harris Street
Pyrmont
Australia
Overheard by: i am too!
Conference call leader: Okay, so, by a show of hands…
40th Street and 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Super Mike
