Boss: Fuckin A, my head is still up my ass.
St. Louis County, Missouri
Overheard by: crackkitty
Boss: Fuckin A, my head is still up my ass.
St. Louis County, Missouri
Overheard by: crackkitty
Blonde coworker: But that's the problem with this country, people are lazy now, never put any thought or effort into anything. They're sloppy. Like, some guy passed a bank teller a “this is a holdup” note on the back of his damn pay stub from his job. I can't respect that kind of stupidity.
Manager: You know what? You would be a really good criminal. I mean that as a compliment.
Blonde coworker: I know, right? It's almost scary. I'd never get caught.
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not sure I want to sit by her anymore
Frustrated manager: So just take that and put it in the bitch! I mean, bin. Put it in the bin.
University Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Overheard by: Hired to do Bitch-Work
Presenter: So which button do I hit to get to the next slide?
Coworker: The space bar.
Presenter: Okay, and which one is that?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mystified
Customer pays with credit card featuring bear logo.
Employee, very curious: Oh, do you like bears?! [Customer looks quizzical while another employee laughs hysterically.]
Omaha, Nebraska
28-year-old intern: How do you spell your last name?
22-year-old intern: “Towne”. You know, like “City” only with an “e”.
28-year-old agent: Don’t you mean like “Town” with an “e”?
22-year-old intern: Nope, I mean “City”. But I suppose “Town” would work too. I never thought of that.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Office girl: Becky, do you have a tampon I could have? Sorry, but I'm dying here.
Pregnant office girl (staring at her): I'm pregnant.
Office girl: So?
Dallas, Texas
Ethics professor: So, if Mr. Wiener, some new lawyer, imputed his conflict to the firm, you’re going to have a lot of unhappy lawyers. They’ll be like, ‘You suck, Wiener!’ … Oh, God, did I just say that?
Malibu, California
Overheard by: ktmonster
Attorney #1: The governor suggested that everyone not evacuating write their social security number on their arm in indelible ink. I’m going to go through our database and tattoo the SSN of our richest client on my chest with my children as beneficiaries.
Attorney #2: You better get that tattoo on your ass because you’re going to be floating face down in the floodwater.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
IT guy: Oh, good I’m back to the top of your favorite people list.
Sales assistant: What? William* the hot A/C guy got bumped down?
IT guy: William’s gone; he’s off the list.
Sales guy: Isn’t William a gerbil?
Sales assistant: That’s my gerbil! We’re talking about the A/C guy now.
Sales guy: Ask Peter* about gerbil; he likes ’em.
IT guy: Ed breeds the gerbils.
Sales guy: I breed them just for you. Hairless, clawless gerbils.
Peter: Edsgerbils.com!
Sales guy: You don’t want one with claws..
Peter: Go to Edsgerbils.com to get your hairless gerbils.
Sales guy: Don’t forget clawless… you don’t want one with claws.
Office Manager: Stop with the gerbils.
Sales guy, to himself: No… don’t want one with claws….
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
