Male colleague, interrupted by another: Oh! I open my mouth and you come!
Chippenham
England
Male colleague, interrupted by another: Oh! I open my mouth and you come!
Chippenham
England
Office girl: I’m on heat… Fire! Fire — I meant ‘fire’! Shut up.
London
England
Inspector: We were in the middle of the health and safety conference, and a fire broke out in the lift.
Call center girl: Really? My god! What happened?!
Inspector: Everyone started to run, but the hallway was really narrow so we got stuck.
Call center girl: Oh my god, what happened?!
Inspector: The fire brigade just opened the fire doors in the conference room. Mr. Lawry* wants to see us now.
Call center girl: So why do you have to go see Mr. Lawry?
Inspector: I think we’re doing more training…
Wembley Road
Wembley
England
18-year-old guy: How old do you think Brenda* [older lady from office] is?
20-year-old guy: About… fifty two?
18-year-old guy: I’d hate to be that old and still wear make-up.
Willenhall
West Midlands
England
Coworker to another while tweaking settings on their iPhones: Where's your colon?
Birmingham
England
Overheard by: Bex
Bald male accountant, about leather-bound diary: That's really nice. If I had one as nice as that I'd never do any work, I'd just sit stroking it all day.
Newcastle upon Tyne
England
Overheard by: finance mole
Girl #1: Well, her parents did give birth to her.
Girl #2: Which parent?!
Girl #1: … Her mum.
England
Overheard by: Rachel Wills
Manager to worker on phone with customer: Tell him we ain't got a monkey, and don't know when the stock's coming in.
Hemel Hempstead
England
Overheard by: Do we sell monkeys?
Coworker, in earnest discussion: I think what's more of a concern these days is the complete disintegration of everything.
Croydon
England
