Coworker, to herself: Pills! I found pills! I found drugs! I am taking them!
Hanford, California
Coworker, to herself: Pills! I found pills! I found drugs! I am taking them!
Hanford, California
Receptionist: How long is your flight going to be?
Employee: By the clock, it will be two hours to LAX and nine hours back, taking into account layovers and the time zones. But I'll only be in the air for a few hours.
Receptionist: Why does it take so long to get back?
Employee: They are three hours behind us, and I have a layover in Atlanta.
Receptionist: Well, I don't think I could be in a plane for nine hours.
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Cubicle dweller: Do they still look like testicles on my shirt?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: A Beat Poet
Rowdy male coworker: So the third time I went to jail, I was outside of this bank…
Train station
Bronxville, New York
Overheard by: Beth Ann
Attorney: Why did you bill all of these overtime hours?
Paralegal: Because you're a faggot!
Manhattan, New York
Customer: Do you have ornaments of cities?
Employee: Yes, over here.
Customer: I'm looking for Seattle, it will probably have the Space Needle on it.
Employee: Sorry, I don't see that. We have astronauts, though.
Christmas Store
Frankenmuth, Michigan
Overheard by: Anita
Grocery store clerk: What is this?
Customer: It's a cucumber.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: The Natural EMP
Woman in bathroom: Smell that peach! You know it's clean!
Pflugerville, Texas
Borders customer: It's by… I don't know her name, but she's the new Poet Laureate.
Borders clerk: Her name is “Laureate”?
Borders customer, sighing: Never mind.
Sunnyvale, California
Employee #1: You are so anal about cleaning…
Employee #2: I am the queen of anal.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Jodie
