Dumb Employees

12PM Clean Out Inbox

Employee #1: Shit!
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: I told you how I had eleven thousand spam messages in my other email address?
Employee #2: No, I didn’t knew that.
Employee #1: So I did as [Filippo] said, I grabbed them from within Yahoo! mail, figuring out it would throw the spam away automatically.
Employee #2: Really.
Employee #1: Apparently it doesn’t do that for another email account. Shit. Now I screwed my Yahoo! mail too. I can’t believe it. I’ll have to manually check eleven thousand messages as spam on this precious address. I am going to kill myself.
Employee #2: Wait, you have to read eleven thousand messages? Who send you that?

Translated from the Italian.

Viale Bianca Maria 6
Milan, Italy

2PM Websurf

Employee #1: Geez, I’ve actually been so busy today I haven’t been able to check my Philly team sites.
Employee #2: It’s tough to be busy one day out of 365.
Employee #1: It is exhausting.

Computer Science Building
University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida

1PM Lunch Hour

Patron: Can you please tell me where I can find post-modern American fiction?
Librarian: Post-modern? That would be in the future, there’s no such thing.
Patron: Uh, okay. Can you tell me where science fiction is?

100 S. Potomac Street
Hagerstown, Maryland

Overheard by: Vince Valenzuela

11AM Restock Supply Closet

Employee #1: Where is my pen? Someone stole it…
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: My pen is gone.
Employee #2: Check your ass.
Employee #1: There it is, in my hair.
Employee #2: Like I said…

909 Fannin Street
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Helecia Helton

2PM Order Phone, Anger Management Class

Employee: Damn it! I broke my speaker phone. I’ve punched it hundreds of times before and it hasn’t broken…

6300 Diagonal Highway
Boulder, Colorado

Apply Them Liberally to the Monitor

Worker #1: You know how you have stamps that say “faxed?”
Worker #2: Yeah.
Worker #1: Do you have one that says “E-mailed?”

420 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY

It’s a Mousepad Waiting to Happen

Co-worker: Ideally everything would be perfect.

9630 S. Norwalk Boulevard
Santa Fe Springs, California

Overheard by: Josh Bartel

Just Take the Window and Make Us All Happy

Employee: I need to go to Accounting. What floor is that on?
Receptionist: It’s on two.
Employee: Is that up or down?

11 West 53 St
New York, NY

For One, Being Canadian Never Helps Anything

Employee #1: Dude, every time we have to do heavy lifting you start drinking and then everybody sees you drinking and they want to start drinking. You need to stop drinking before the work is done.
Employee #2: I understand that you don’t like me drinking before the work is done, but i dont know what the answer to this problem is.

3553 31 Street NW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

It’s Cheaper and Healthier Than Starbucks

Model employee: The earlier I wake up, the more crack I smoke on the way to work.

3100 W. Lake Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Samesque

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