Employee #1: Where is my pen? Someone stole it…
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: My pen is gone.
Employee #2: Check your ass.
Employee #1: There it is, in my hair.
Employee #2: Like I said…
909 Fannin Street
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Helecia Helton
Employee: Damn it! I broke my speaker phone. I’ve punched it hundreds of times before and it hasn’t broken…
6300 Diagonal Highway
Boulder, Colorado
Worker #1: You know how you have stamps that say “faxed?”
Worker #2: Yeah.
Worker #1: Do you have one that says “E-mailed?”
420 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker: Ideally everything would be perfect.
9630 S. Norwalk Boulevard
Santa Fe Springs, California
Overheard by: Josh Bartel
Employee: I need to go to Accounting. What floor is that on?
Receptionist: It’s on two.
Employee: Is that up or down?
11 West 53 St
New York, NY
Employee #1: Dude, every time we have to do heavy lifting you start drinking and then everybody sees you drinking and they want to start drinking. You need to stop drinking before the work is done.
Employee #2: I understand that you don’t like me drinking before the work is done, but i dont know what the answer to this problem is.
3553 31 Street NW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Model employee: The earlier I wake up, the more crack I smoke on the way to work.
3100 W. Lake Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Samesque
Co-worker: One of the people I was meeting with was Ray Charles…the white, Jewish Ray Charles.
550 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
White female coworker #1: My friend's pregnant. She hopes it's a black baby or a dog. They're both cute.
White female coworker #2: Yeah, black babies are cuter…
City Hall
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: betsyvonawesome
Stunned server, after seeing shapely female exec chef in street clothes: Chef! You're a girl!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: irrelevant
