Employee: I have a problem and don’t know what to do.
Manager: What is the problem?
Employee: The toliet paper is missing, and I don’t know what to do.
1850 14th Avenue SE
Albany, Oregon
Employee: I have a problem and don’t know what to do.
Manager: What is the problem?
Employee: The toliet paper is missing, and I don’t know what to do.
1850 14th Avenue SE
Albany, Oregon
Customer: I’d like a double hamburger.
McGenius: Is that like a double cheeseburger without cheese?
McDonald’s
Bucksport, Maine
Overheard by: Mr. E. Meat
Male coworker in all-male meeting: I don’t know where Jill* is. She is pregnant. Maybe she’s palpitating.
Spartanburg, South Carolina
Overheard by: Grammatically Stunned
Employee: How does my butt look in these pants?
Boss: What? You can’t ask me that.
Employee: Oh…Can I ask you if someone else is my boss?
Boss: No, Brian.
Employee: How about if I’m not working here any more?
Boss: Still no.
Employee: Wow, having a job sure is different from college.
2445 M St NW
Washington, DC
Manager: Marcy, have you seen the trucking report for last month?
Marcy: No.
Manager: What do you mean you haven’t seen it? It was on your desk.
Marcy: Well, I think I almost saw it…
1000 River Road
Essex Junction, Vermont
401k advisor: How nice to see you! How’s your daughter doing? Is she back in Iran?
Co-worker: What?
401k advisor: Isn’t she in Iran? Or…Iraq?
Co-worker: She is in Israel in the army.
401k advisor: Oh, sorry, I get all those “I” places mixed up.
2300 E. Prospect Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Co-worker: I figure, if he sends me to jail, I’m just going to call the judge a cocksucker. ‘Cause at that point, what can he do?
6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio
Office dweller: This office is sweltering. The thermometer says it’s 82 degrees in here.
Building heating/AC “expert”: I don’t trust thermometers. Them things are made in third world countries.
41 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker #1: What’s with the Google logo today?
Coworker #2: It’s probably supposed to be symbolic of Terry Schiavo dehydrating or something.
1001 W. Cypress Creek Road
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Man: Either come with me or we’ll go together.
140 Canal View
Rochester, New York
