Employee: How does my butt look in these pants?
Boss: What? You can’t ask me that.
Employee: Oh…Can I ask you if someone else is my boss?
Boss: No, Brian.
Employee: How about if I’m not working here any more?
Boss: Still no.
Employee: Wow, having a job sure is different from college.
2445 M St NW
Washington, DC
Manager: Marcy, have you seen the trucking report for last month?
Marcy: No.
Manager: What do you mean you haven’t seen it? It was on your desk.
Marcy: Well, I think I almost saw it…
1000 River Road
Essex Junction, Vermont
401k advisor: How nice to see you! How’s your daughter doing? Is she back in Iran?
Co-worker: What?
401k advisor: Isn’t she in Iran? Or…Iraq?
Co-worker: She is in Israel in the army.
401k advisor: Oh, sorry, I get all those “I” places mixed up.
2300 E. Prospect Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Co-worker: I figure, if he sends me to jail, I’m just going to call the judge a cocksucker. ‘Cause at that point, what can he do?
6111 Oak Tree Boulevard
Independence, Ohio
Office dweller: This office is sweltering. The thermometer says it’s 82 degrees in here.
Building heating/AC “expert”: I don’t trust thermometers. Them things are made in third world countries.
41 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker #1: What’s with the Google logo today?
Coworker #2: It’s probably supposed to be symbolic of Terry Schiavo dehydrating or something.
1001 W. Cypress Creek Road
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Man: Either come with me or we’ll go together.
140 Canal View
Rochester, New York
Employee #1: Shit!
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: I told you how I had eleven thousand spam messages in my other email address?
Employee #2: No, I didn’t knew that.
Employee #1: So I did as [Filippo] said, I grabbed them from within Yahoo! mail, figuring out it would throw the spam away automatically.
Employee #2: Really.
Employee #1: Apparently it doesn’t do that for another email account. Shit. Now I screwed my Yahoo! mail too. I can’t believe it. I’ll have to manually check eleven thousand messages as spam on this precious address. I am going to kill myself.
Employee #2: Wait, you have to read eleven thousand messages? Who send you that?
Translated from the Italian.
Viale Bianca Maria 6
Milan, Italy
Employee #1: Geez, I’ve actually been so busy today I haven’t been able to check my Philly team sites.
Employee #2: It’s tough to be busy one day out of 365.
Employee #1: It is exhausting.
Computer Science Building
University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
Patron: Can you please tell me where I can find post-modern American fiction?
Librarian: Post-modern? That would be in the future, there’s no such thing.
Patron: Uh, okay. Can you tell me where science fiction is?
100 S. Potomac Street
Hagerstown, Maryland
Overheard by: Vince Valenzuela
