Dumb Employees

Cube rat, opening a personal package received at work: This is more fun than a new bar of soap!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: I like soap too

Truck driver: Back in the old days, Larry* used to take bribes, Larry used to give bribes, Larry ran the company the way it should be run!
Dispatcher: Do you know what you just said?
Truck driver: I know what I just said!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: extracaffeinated

Office peon: So, that guy with the little hat on — he’s the president?

745 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Male peon: Oh, I love this song!
Lady peon: Really, what is it?
Male peon: Uh… Music…

178 Middle Street
Portland, Oregon

Woman in stall: I can do it… I know I can do it! … I did it! [Flush.]

Third bathroom stall over
San Dimas, California

Overheard by: badfishey

Vet tech #1: Aren’t there a lot of castles in Pennsylvania? I was watching a show on TV about all the castles there.
Vet tech #2: I think you’re thinking of Transylvania.

North Lamar Boulevard
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: pooper scooper

Co-worker #1: How’s the new baby?
Co-worker #2: She’s doing great thanks!
Co-worker #1: Does she have hair?
Co-worker #2: She’s got tonnes of hair!
Co-worker #1: How about eyes?
Co-worker #2: …Yes, she has eyes…

557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Annoying coworker to office gossip: I don't know what rubber nuts have to do with Pennsylvania, anyway.

Columbia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Damn Ya-Ya's

Coworker #1: Don* sent me flowers today.
Coworker #2: Why did Don send you flowers? Did your grandma die again?

16th and K Street NW
Washington, DC

Office manager: Why aren't you wearing a tie today?
Worker: Oh, well… I'm going to see a client, so I didn't think I needed one on today.
Office manager: All the more reason to wear a tie.
Worker: Well, I'm in the office, so I didn't think that I had to wear one.
Office manager, pulling out employee handbook: It says right here: “all employees must always be dressed appropriately. Men wearing dress slacks, button-down shirt, and tie.”
Worker: Oh! See, ties don't really work for me. But that's okay, right?

Staten Island