Employee: Everytime I open my mouth, I put my tongue in it.
35 C Street
Ephrata, Washington
Overheard by: Lost in Space
Employee: Everytime I open my mouth, I put my tongue in it.
35 C Street
Ephrata, Washington
Overheard by: Lost in Space
Man: So, I told my girlfriend that if I fuck a midget it is not considered cheating.
Coworker: What? Yes, it is!
Man: No, it isn’t. They aren’t real people.
Presque Isle, Maine
Overheard by: wtf kind of place is this?
Sales rep #1: Here’s that spreadsheet. I hid the columns you didn’t need so it would fit on one page.
Sales rep #2: How did you do that? I have been cutting and pasting all this time!
Sales rep #1: Cutting and pasting?
Sales rep #2, pulling out three pieces of paper, cut and taped together to make one big spreadsheet: See? I cut and pasted!
Virginia
Overheard by: What!?
Employee emerging from stockroom, singing: Tookie’s in the house! Y’all already know what he’s about!
Office supply store
New York, New York
Overheard by: NCS
Co-worker: If saliva was poison, she’d be a snake, right?
Man: Is that really your inbox, or is it some kind of joke?
Man: I’ll go punch a bunch of buttons. If that doesn’t work, I’ll unplug it.
10877 Watson Road
St. Louis, Missouri
Good listener #1: Have you tried mango Propel?
Good listener #2: Nope.
Good listener #1: Is it any good?
Human Services, Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: uberkt
Hydrologist: I wanted to be a flying monkey when I was little. I was like, ‘What do I have to do to be one of those?!’
700 West Capitol
Little Rock, Arkansas
Cube rat, opening a personal package received at work: This is more fun than a new bar of soap!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: I like soap too
Truck driver: Back in the old days, Larry* used to take bribes, Larry used to give bribes, Larry ran the company the way it should be run!
Dispatcher: Do you know what you just said?
Truck driver: I know what I just said!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: extracaffeinated
Office peon: So, that guy with the little hat on — he’s the president?
745 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
