Real estate agent on phone to vendor: "we can put the property up for sale now. It doesn't smell anymore."
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Anita Holiday
Real estate agent on phone to vendor: "we can put the property up for sale now. It doesn't smell anymore."
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Anita Holiday
Woman sipping her soda through a straw, the day after the super bowl: If I suck hard enough, will Justin Timberlake come?
Lincoln Village Drive
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: That’s What She Said
Delivery man: Would you sign for this, ma'am?
Office worker #1: Call Kelly and ask her to come down here and sign for it. It's her order.
Office worker #2: Why don't you just sign for it?
Office worker #1: My hands are busy.
Bainbridge Island, Washington
Waiter to customer: I’m sorry, but we’re out of swiss. Would you like mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: Swiss.
Waiter: No, we don’t have swiss. Do you want mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: You don’t have swiss?
Waiter: Nope, but we do have mozzarella and cheddar.
Customer: That sucks!
Waiter: Yeah, I’m sorry. Would you like either mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: What other cheeses do you have?
Waiter: Mozzarella and cheddar.
Customer: Don’t you have any other cheeses?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Manager of fast food restaurant, handing food out drive-thru window: Here you go, ma'am, have a nice day… (slams window shut) Bitch!
Hopewell, New Jersey
Director: I'm taking my kids to see the smurfs movie. I'm going to play a game and see how many times I can substitute the word “fuck” for the word “smurf.”
Sales manager: Sucks you're Mormon, or you could turn it into a drinking game.
Director: Hey… smurf you.
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Guy behind counter: I have a fetish for pre-creased items.
Café Boulange
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
New supervisor, straight from the military: It’s my job to protect you from the people above me.
26-year veteran of the agency: I’ve got Jesus and a man. I don’t need any more protection than that.
Federal Office Building
Washington DC
Overheard by: Wasting my best years
Manager: So, you're the top intern and you're like the bottom intern?
Independent Regulatory Commission
Washington, DC
Overheard by: The Middle Intern
this is like going through your ass to brush your teeth!
San Antonio, TX
