Coworker #1: Do you smoke?
Coworker #2, very proud: I quit four years ago, July 1.
Coworker #1: That's great, I'm going to go smoke one in your honor.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Coworker #1: Do you smoke?
Coworker #2, very proud: I quit four years ago, July 1.
Coworker #1: That's great, I'm going to go smoke one in your honor.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Manager in charge of recruiting international students: We talked to a bunch of saudis.
Her boss, the global director: No, they were uaes.
Manager: Oh.
Penn State
Overheard by: Can find the US on a map
Admin #1: I have to have my green tea to protect me from other people's colds!
Coworker: It's too early for cold season. Yes, do whatever it takes to stay healthy.
Admin #1: Yes, and I also like echinacea but dont have any.
Admin #2: Ah, I like euthanasia too.
(pause)
Admin #2: Wait, what's the difference between euthanasia and echinacea anyways?
Fairfield County, Connecticut
Peon, to no one: When you have deja vu more than once a day, you know you have a fucking boring job.
Omaha, Nebraska
(long past June)
Receptionist: I haven't opened all my Christmas gifts yet. I just haven't had time.
Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Cube mate: "are we focusing on selling pumpkins or hairdryers?"
400 Raritan Parkway, Edison NJ
Overheard by: PigPen
Boss: We need to declare another crusade so we can take back our oil from the infidels in the Middle East.
Oregon, Ohio
Overheard by: Confused Puppy
Joyous cube dweller: Yay! My ass works!
DIT
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: Across From The Shit Show
Coworker #1, laughing: Oh my god, I was headed to the time clock and Bill* asked me if I said goodbye to Peter*.
Office manager: Peter? There's no Peter here.
Coworker #2: The spider?
Coworker #1: Yes, Peter the spider. Anyway, I said no and I went to his office to tell Peter goodnight.
Office manager: You guys have named a spider “Peter”?
Coworker #1: Yes… Anyway, he said there's a snack there for him. I figured it was a dead bug, but no, there's an m&m laid on the shelf above where Peter's hanging.
Coworker #3: Oh my god!
Coworker #1: I was laughing so hard I was crying.
Office manager: I'm going to kill Peter after Bill goes home.
Coworker #1, gasping: No!! Don't kill Peter!
Charlotte, North Carolina
Short white girl: Manamana.
Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do.
Short white girl: Manaman.
Tall white guy: Do-do-do-do.
Short white girl: Manamana.
Tall white guy: Do-do, do-do-do, do-do, dah-do-do-do-do-do…
Short white girl: Manamana!
Black coworker: Crazy white folk… What the hell's wrong witchu two?
Newark Airport
New Jersey
