Emissions tests woman: Do you have the slip?
Man, fumbling through his bag: I think so, the pink one?
Emissions tests woman: I don't know what color it is, sir! It's a slip with a bar code on it.
Boulder, Colorado
Emissions tests woman: Do you have the slip?
Man, fumbling through his bag: I think so, the pink one?
Emissions tests woman: I don't know what color it is, sir! It's a slip with a bar code on it.
Boulder, Colorado
Junior art director: Hey, what month is eleven?
Chicago, Illinois
Office drone to VP: Hey Bob*, Bill* asked me to ask you to e-mail to me the e-mail that he e-mailed to you that you made changes to, and then e-mailed back to him because he can't e-mail it to me, and he wants me to e-mail it to Mary* from his e-mail address, so that it looks like Bill* e-mailed Mary* directly from his e-mail instead of my e-mail. Okay?
VP: Are you effin kidding me?
Durango, Colorado
Intern: Have you heard about that weed store, the Cannabis Club?
Paralegal: No.
Intern: Yeah, man, they have every type of food, just made with weed. Real heavy stuff, for people with cancer. You gotta have a card or something to be a member.
Paralegal: Oh yeah?
Intern: Yeah, but I say if you're going to be a stoner, don't be a wuss and not actually smoke.
VP, walking in: Wait, the Cannabis Club, isn't that in Orange County?
Encino, California
Overheard by: I need a membership too
Coworker #1: Have you filed your travel voucher for that conference in Indianapolis?
Coworker #2: Yes.
Coworker #1: Let me see your copy so I can fill mine out correctly.
Coworker #2: Here you go.
Coworker #1: Let’s see. You used the year ’05 instead of ’06, did not provide departure/arrival times, omitted your social security number, and didn’t total the round trip mileage and mileage reimbursement columns. Thanks.
4555 Central Avenue
Columbus, Indiana
Coworker #1: Have you heard about Ben & Jerry's new flavor? Schweddy Balls!
Coworker #2: Seriously?! That's awesome!
(awkward pause)
Coworker #3: I wonder what they taste like?
Spokane, Washington
Overheard by: Adamm
It manager (holding easter chocolate in his hand): Did someone call me? I. Thought I heard my name.
Admin. Assistant: No, that's just your conscience talking because you're. About to eat that chocolate.
301 Merritt 7, Norwalk, CT
Newly hired engineer: Isn't that the same shirt you wore yesterday?
Principal engineer, slowly: No, but even if it was, that's a dick thing to say.
Denver, Colorado
Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.
Frederick, Maryland
CSR: I’ll need your credit card information before I can let you in at my lady parts.
1745 West Jefferson Avenue
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: looking for my credit card
