Office clerk #1, overly perky: Did you finish it all?
Office clerk #2: I did all of them in my box.
Office clerk #1: Good for you!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: office drone
Office clerk #1, overly perky: Did you finish it all?
Office clerk #2: I did all of them in my box.
Office clerk #1: Good for you!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: office drone
CEO to board: This is too complicated for you. The lawyer and myself are like eagles flying high above you. You wouldn’t understand.
Board member: Yes, but remember — we can shoot you down.
4000 Old Seward Highway
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Ataqun
Account chick: Okay… Who wrote “boobs” in my zen garden?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Minding my own business
Peon #1: All those Luxury Wafers are broken.
Peon #2: How do you know?
Peon #1: I hand-checked them all. And licked them too. You can never be too careful.
Hall of Justice
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: no office snacks for me
Office girl: Smell your fingers.
Office guy: Ewww, what is that?
Office girl: Smells like petroleum jelly, right?
Office guy: Ugh!
Office girl: Toxic, right?!
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Female sales rep on phone with customer: Hey, Jane*, did you find your box? (pause) Great!
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Coworker #1: Yeah, I have syringes at home. Don’t you?
Coworker #2: No. Why? Does someone in your house have diabetes?
Coworker #1: No. Is this weird? Hold on, let me call my brother.
(a few minutes later.)
Coworker #1: Oh, well. They’re not syringes. They’re teeth whiteners.
West Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Perpetually angry female drone: I love my family so much they make me want to choke myself on a daily basis.
Hospital Office
New Milford, Connecticut
Office guy: I have to steal some condoms from my parents. (pause) Wait. Their brand probably doesn't work–they had me.
Manhattan, New York
Fellow cube dweller (after violently blowing nose and looking into tissue): I don’t understand how when you’re sick, you just never run out of boogers.
Rosedale Towers
Roseville, Minnesota
Overheard by: booger-free
