Boss: Notice anything different about your blazer today?
Employee: No.
Boss: Well, I sewed it for you.
Employee: What? When?
Boss: Oh, a month or two ago, when you were out of the office for the day. You left it here, so I took it and sewed it.
Employee: Um, thanks.
300 Massachusetts Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Office drone #1: Last week I was on MySpace, and I dropped my old high school girlfriend a line. Would you see this as being friendly or creepy?
Office drone #2: Well, did you search specifically for her?
Office drone #1: No, I seriously just happened across her through my high school’s page, but unbeknownst to me she had just recently set up her account. I’m just freaked out that it looks like I’ve been trolling the internet waters waiting for her to surface and then, bam! Ten years ago that would have been the case, but not now.
Liberty Drive
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: giselle
Peon #1: Mmmm… I love these doughnuts. I could even eat them without the icing, the dough is so soft.
Peon #2: Like your flesh.
Tim Mei Avenue
Hong Kong
China
Salesguy #1: …so she totally doesn’t mind sexual harassment.
Salesguy #2: Really?
Salesguy #1: Well, she does and she doesn’t. It depends on who’s doing it.
105 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Office drone #1: So I guess birth is the last time when you can fit your entire body through a vagina.
Office drone #2: Huh…
111 Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Office hottie, after office creepster has poked her: Ouch! What was that for?
Office creepster: I just always wondered what it'd be like to poke you.
Office hottie: Oh. It didn't do much for me. How was it for you?
Office creepster: Fucking magic!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kiwibloke
Creepy employee to intern at urinal: Caught you red handed!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Tibor
Male creepy marketing director, asking how to change copier's toner: So you just pull it out and shove it in?
Female office manager: (sigh)
Royal Oak, Michigan
Old black lady: Why you call your brother ‘KISS‘?!
Young black woman: Huh?
Old black lady: You know what ‘K-I-S-S’ stand for?
Young black woman: What?
Old black woman: ‘Knights in Satan’s Service.’ That’s right, ‘Knights in Satan’s Service! Why you call your brother ‘KISS‘?!
2201 South 10th Street
Ft. Pierce, Florida
Overheard by: Just here to get dialated
Coworker #1, drinking with group: I’ve got two kids, a daughter and a son.
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah? I didn’t know that. Does Betty* have any kids?
Coworker #3: No. Glen* has kids, though.
Coworker #1: Who?
Coworker #3: You know, Glen — over there at the table across the room. He has two daughters. They came to the office a couple times. One’s about 12, and the other’s 15 or something like that.
Top executive: Yeah, and they’re pretty hot, too! [All three coworkers silent.] Uhhh… Healthy, I mean. Good kids.
Spirit of Seattle Argosy Cruise Ferry, Lake Union
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Why Can’t I Be Deaf?
