Coworker on phone: I don't want to know, dude. It's like if the condom broke with a skank… I really don't want to think about the pregnancy, or if she has the herpes, until she gets a tummy or I get a cold sore.
Boca Raton, Florida
Coworker on phone: I don't want to know, dude. It's like if the condom broke with a skank… I really don't want to think about the pregnancy, or if she has the herpes, until she gets a tummy or I get a cold sore.
Boca Raton, Florida
20-something female coworker: Ooooh! Dr. Seuss' Oh, the Places You'll Go! For real, ya'll, that's the best book ever written. Well…other than, like, the bible.
Charleston, South Carolina
Co-worker: My hubby can be such a dork. We went to the hardware store this weekend because we are refinishing our bathroom. So, I ask the hardware store guy, “Where do you keep your caulk?” Hubby just stood behind me and snickered.
8400 Esters Boulevard
Irving, Texas
Cube guy #1: Yeah, you should go to the overseas office if you get a chance, they treat you real nice there.
Cube guy #2: Really?
Cube guy #1: Yeah, they were real good to me.
Cube guy #2: Yeah? They give you the reach-around?
Supervisor, walking by on the way to his office: What?
Austin, Texas
Cube neighbor, after getting off phone with daughter: Oh, my kids!
Warehouse employee, walking by: We should all kill our kids. Oh, wait, did I say that out loud?
Irvine, California
Overheard by: scared cube-dweller
Opinionated coworker: My wife’s mad at me because I think she’s an idiot.
Main Street and Grant Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
Guy coworker: So I know after they've wiped out the rest of my truck, these thieves are thinking, “We can even steal these $3 sunglasses and pawn them for at least a portion of a rock!”
Girl coworker: Rocks are free, dumbass!
Lewisville, Texas
Overheard by: entertained by others' ignorance
Co-worker: Hey [Trish], can you come here a sec?
Office Manager: Yeah, where are you?
Co-worker: I’m in the closet.
155 6th Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: Wow! That’s the longest email I’ve ever gotten from a customer.
Co-worker #2: Really? What is it?
Co-worker #1: [Kateunderscorelee]@yahoo.com
Co-worker #2: That’s not long…Oh! Um, do you know what an “underscore” is? You don’t spell it out.
1001 Roeder Avenue
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Chris Shard
X-ray tech getting off phone: My son wants me to come home so bad. My kids always get like that when they are sick.
Coworker: Well, isn’t your husband at home with him?
X-ray tech: Yes, but they always want me instead — they are so attached. It’s probably because I used to sing them this really cute song when they were babies.
Coworker: What’s that?
X-ray tech: ‘Mommy’s your best friend, Mommy’s your best friend, Daddy’s your second best friend!’
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Thugalicious Baller
