Copywriter: Have you seen Terri*? I have to ask her about her G-spot.
Sex toy company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Copywriter: Have you seen Terri*? I have to ask her about her G-spot.
Sex toy company
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Office girl: He was murdered outside that bar.
Office guy: Oh my god! I remember that. It was on the news. You knew him?
Office girl: Yeah! I got his microwave!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Peon #1, about son: Yeah, so he’s just at that age where he’s throwing things around now. I mean, he’ll grow out of it, but it’s annoying replacing his dummy every time he throws it away.
Peon #2: How old is he?
Peon #1: Twenty-three.
Clarendon Street
East Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Female editor: I’ve never been to Hooters, and I probably never will.
Male reporter: The service is exceptional.
Female editor: It takes the longest time for me to get my food there.
Male reporter: That’s the best part!
100 Avenue A
Conroe, Texas
Jersey office girl: Hey, my little dumpling!
Russian office girl: Dumpling?
Jersey office girl: Yeah! You’re my little dumpling!
Russian office girl: A dumpling is not so nice. I’d rather be a bread stick.
West 28th Street
New York, New York
Woman, about her boyfriend: He doesn’t just shit on the bathroom floor of any restaurant. He only does it when he’s upset about the food or service. And he wouldn’t do it anywhere really nice — just at places like Arby’s or whatever.
Highway 55
Minneapolis, Minnesota
20-ish female associate: Yeah, and you should see her hair! She dyed it red.
20-ish male associate: Really? How red? Like, Netflix-red?
20-ish female associate: No! Worse than that. Like Tandoori chicken-red!
Middle-aged male associate: Wait, wait, wait — what on Earth are you two talking about? What ever happened to fire engine-red and candy apple-red? [Met with silent, blank stares, then waves his hand in disdain] Bah! You kids nowadays are all freaks!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Worker bee: There’s nothing more romantic than porn falling on your head…
Palmer Street
Missoula, Montana
Peon #1: So, how’s that burn on your arm?
Peon #2: It kind of looks like prime rib.
1750 East Golf Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
Office assistant #1: Oh, I see you got braces. Congrats. But aren’t they awfully expensive?
Office assistant #2: Yeah, but it’s worth it… At least my future children will have straight teeth!
Moscow
Russia
