Colleague on phone: We’ll just have to go down there and gang bang those sites.
Silence.
3699 West Lathrop Street
South Bend, Indiana
Colleague on phone: We’ll just have to go down there and gang bang those sites.
Silence.
3699 West Lathrop Street
South Bend, Indiana
Co-worker #1: There’s so much free food in this office!
Co-worker #2: At least we’re young and not obese.
Co-worker #1: Seriously…when you turn 45 and you’re working for the State, they should just pay for your gastric bypass surgery.
The Capitol Building
400 South Monroe Street
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Kara M.
Assistant: I spent 8 hours of overtime this weekend retyping the spreadsheet for the tax assessor.
Co-worker: They didn’t like the arrangement of the spreadsheet so you had to redo it? What do you mean “redo”, did you retype everything?
Assistant: Yes, most of it, some I cut and pasted/
Co-worker: Do you know how to use Data Sort?
Assistant: Excel can’t do a numerical sort, only alphabetical, and they didn’t want that, so I retyped everything.
10 2nd Street NE
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: sweetwhitelady
Co-worker #1: God! I hate it when those two have to work together! It’s so painful. It’s like watching a monkey and a dolphin try to build a house.
Co-worker #2: I think you underestimate the communication skills of wildlife.
150 Broadway
New York, NY
Employee #1: Don’t you hate it when your anorexia kicks in?
Employee #2: What?
Employee #1: When you see things backwards.
Employee #2: Dyslexia.
423 West 8th Street
Kansas City, Missouri
Guy: Why the hell is my computer running so slow?…Ah! here it is: “System Idle Process” is taking up 98% of my CPU…fucking Microsoft…
1701 North Street
Endicott, New York
Co-worker: Let me grab that package later since, right now, I’m double-fisting.
11400 W. Olympic Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: lonecomic
Co-worker #1: How do I make this print faster?
Co-worker #2: Put water on it.
10960 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Selaf Nek
Office girl: Why don’t we recycle here?
Office guy: Because we’re fucking trying to eliminate winter!
740 Dundas Street E
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Building service: Coffee’s shit, man.
White collar: Yeah. Gotta work, though.
The building service person snorts an imaginary line from the countertop.
Building service: Dat’s da shit you need, man. Coke id up.
1114 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY
