Male coworker to female coworker: Hey, do you ever play golf?
Female coworker: No, I don't play with balls that small.
(male coworker chokes on drink)
Bellevue, Nebraska
Male coworker to female coworker: Hey, do you ever play golf?
Female coworker: No, I don't play with balls that small.
(male coworker chokes on drink)
Bellevue, Nebraska
Man on phone: The money is the same either way…but this time, no one goes to jail.
Los Angeles, California
Frustrated old man, walking away from service call button at Home Depot: Might as well hang an asshole up there and press that!
San Diego, California
Office guy: I brought bars.
Office gal: Special K?
Office guy: No, they're not Special K because they don't have Special K in them. They have Rice Krispies. They are way better then Special K bars. Cause Special K is corn, and these are rice.
Office gal: I thought you would bring shrimp.
Office guy: Yeah, I said that.
Office gal: Yeah.
Office guy: And then I got the look of the death from Kay. So I brought these instead.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: What kind of pot luck is this?
Boss to peon eating lunch: So my daughter finally pooped today. It's been at least a few days.
Peon #1, trying to ignore him: Wow. Cool.
Boss: Yeah, it wasn't anything huge like the one a few days ago, but at least she's pooping.
Peon #2: That's great to hear. My poor daughter has been at home with explosive diarrhea all week.
Peon #1: (tosses barely eaten lunch in the garbage and wordlessly walks away)
Sacramento, California
Female paralegal: Did you read that article I sent you?
Aussie male coworker: That ain't right.
Female paralegal: Indeed. But 45 minutes! That's longer than most men last.
Aussie male coworker, in long-winded explanation: Well, 45 minutes would be a while for coitus. But remember that the seal wasn't actually getting any. 45 minutes is kinda short if you include foreplay…
Female paralegal: Tsk, tsk…give the seal some credit.
Aussie male coworker: Fine. He has moderate sexual stamina.
Senior paralegal: What?!
Chicago, Illinois
Black lady: You're not as crude as the rest of us.
Hick man: I can be crude if I want to.
Black lady: Naw, the rest of us…we're crude without no reason!
Hornbake Library
University of Maryland
Pilot: We have two great flight attendants, and one that you'll find is only so-so.
Flight over Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: AL
Female coworker, amazed at spreadsheet: Wow, that's big!
Male coworker, matter-of-factly, with a sly smile: No, it's not that big. I've had bigger.
Minnetonka, Minnesota
Overheard by: I don't wanna know.
Boss: He's really similar to my step dad–he had dark hair, and a long corso.
Girl: I'm sorry, a long *what*?
Boss, slowly: A long…corso?
Girl: Torso. Corset.
Boss: Hmm.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Smarter than her boss (obviously)
