Coworker: I'm going to steal a shirt for the priest.
Westchester, New York
TSA agent at security checkpoint: Ladies and gentlemen, please remove all liquids and gels from your bag! Take off your shoes! And pay attention to that jewelry! That's right, if you have too much bling, you will ring! Let's speed this up here, people!
Airport
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: PetRunner
Coworker: It smells like really strong pot in here! (lifts his shirt up to his nose, sniffing) And it's not me!
Aspen Business Center
Aspen, Colorado
Secretary #1: I just read that thong panties are “bacteria highways” from back to front!
Secretary #2: I am highway-free, I think. Maybe some traffic jams, though.
Secretary #1: Huh?
Fairbanks, Alaska
Overheard by: OMG
Coworker: Hey, what's that on your pants?
Pocket Hercules: Oh, this? It's just a little protein shake.
Coworker: What?
Pocket Hercules: Wait, that didn't sound right!
Bloomington, Minnesota
Girl #1: It is cold in here.
Girl #2: Well, then wear a sweater.
Girl #3: Can you please turn it down? My ovaries are starting to freeze!
Stony Brook University Medical Center
Stony Brook, New York
Overheard by: laura d
Complaining sales girl: I'm freezing!
Jaded sales girl: No, you're not, it's an illusion. They paint the walls a color that fools your brain into thinking it's cold.
Complaining sales girl: Really?
Jaded sales girl: No, not really. Now go put on a damn sweater and quit complaining to me!
Shop
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: sasha
Intern to boss: Ya ever just wanna work with no pants on?
Royal Oak, Michigan
Secretary to boss: So then I put a sweat sock over his head and left it there for about seven hours.
Boston, Massachusetts
