Engineer on phone: I could try to sell you a penis enlarging pump instead, if you’d like… No, of course it’s not used!
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Engineer on phone: I could try to sell you a penis enlarging pump instead, if you’d like… No, of course it’s not used!
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Designer, during meeting: You can get a lot done in a threesome if you have an alliance.
Ad Agency
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: worried coworker
Retiree visiting the office: I was working on the windows and running around the yard with my caulk in my hand, and I have this neighbor, Dave*, who was standing in the bushes, and I didn’t see him. But Dave scared me and there was caulk everywhere — caulk all over the windows and caulk on my hands. No, I’m serious, there were inches of it coming out! You guys aren’t even listening to me! I didn’t know what to do about all of the caulk on my hands but I called the 800 number on the side of it and the guy said that friction could get it off.
110 Nelson Road
Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia
Office worker to colleague: Hey, is it okay to put tinfoil in the microwave?
Office manager, from the kitchen: Fire!
Northern Canadia
Guy #1: So, what did you get her for Christmas?
Guy #2: Oh, man, she’s gonna love it — I got her a padded toilet seat!
Guy #1: Cool.
Lime Ridge Mall, 999 Upper Wentworth Street
Hamilton, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: laughing myself stupid
Office guy #1: Are you coming over tonight?
Office guy #2: Yeah, I'll be there.
Office guy #1: Okay, I'll pull it out and wipe it off.
Regina
Canadia
Overheard by: Vince
Man: Is this the Information counter?
Bored worker: Yes.
Man: Can I have some information?
Université de Montréal
Canadia
CCA: So, I have to get some KY jelly for my puppy. I’ve never really lubricated a dog’s rectum before, you know?
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia
Receptionist: In my head I get banged all the time!
Côte-des-Neiges Road
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: better without context
