California

Employee: I’ve been on e-mail since 5 AM, and all I see is incomptitude.

550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: hearing it in stereo

Office peon: Well, guess who one of them was? Guess who one of the lesbian gypsies was?!

202 West 1st Street
Los Angeles, California

Minion #1: Do you have any chocolate?
Minion #2: Nope…I have beef chunks.
Minion #1: Uhhhhh…

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Virginia

Person: Hi, I’m here for my 1 o’clock meeting. I know I’m a little early…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, what?
Person: I’m here for my meeting at 1; I’m early. Sorry about that.
Receptionist: Um…Yeah, it’s almost 3…So…
Person: Oh sorry, right, 3, must be in a different time zone.

9250 Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Worker #1: Wow, that was a tough job.
Worker #2: Yeah, they should give us something.
Worker #1: Like a basket?
Worker #2: Yeah, a basket of rifles!

2455 Faber Place
Palo Alto, California

Overheard by: for meltnbean

VP Engineering: Printing has been dropped as a feature, but at least we’re not sacrificing quality to meet the schedule.

2279 Vista Del Mar
San Mateo, California

Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Candidate: Knowing things. Like, knowing knowledge about everything.

Miller Avenue
Fontana, California

Interviewing manager looking at resume: This is what? Your middle name? What language is this?
Interviewee: It’s Hawaiian. I’m part Hawaiian.
Interviewer: Oh… So, did you have to wait for the white man to get there before you had a language?

San Diego, California

Internet hipster: It's a meme of a meme, so it's meta.
Boss: What?!

Fontana, California

Punk chick on her cell: Which one did you pick? Oh, the one that can fuck?

Ralph’s
Los Angeles, California