Company lawyer to copywriter: It may be wrong or stupid, but if so, we want to be consistently stupid.
Chatsworth, California
Company lawyer to copywriter: It may be wrong or stupid, but if so, we want to be consistently stupid.
Chatsworth, California
Female employee #1: I can’t wear thong underwear, because they go up into my pussy crack.
Female employee #2: What?! How big are you down there?
Female employee #1: Oh, it’s fucking huge.
Fontana, California
Coworker #1, to editor: Do you know where the call-in phone number on the back of XYZ Publication* goes to?
Coworker #2: I have no idea.
Coworker #1: Well, [boss] called the other day and asked where it went to. I called it just now, and it answers with the voice of Dana*, but she hasn’t worked here in seven months!
Coworker #2, looking at Dana’s empty desk area: I guess that it just goes to her phone, and whoever gets that extension will get all of the messages.
Coworker #1: So it doesn’t matter to you that readers might be calling in and leaving messages that are not being returned?
Coworker #2: No.
45 Leveroni Court
Novato, California
Manager #1: My roommate is acting a little off.
Manager #2: What do you mean?
Manager #1: It’s like her elevator doesn’t go to the top anymore.
Staff: You have an elevator in your house?
Sonoma, California
Coworker: Maybe when my first cat dies from misuse…
209 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California
Worker: Is the mailer-daemon a real person?
Tech: Really?
11766 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Engineer: What’s the time frame on this? I don’t have time for it right now.
Project manager: ASAP, but it can wait for now.
Von Karman Avenue
Irvine, California
Grunt #1: Seriously, dude, what the hell is up with Ahmed’s* hair?
Grunt #2: I know what you mean. It’s like someone turned up the gamma setting on his head — like, all the way.
555 West Imperial Highway
Brea, California
Overheard by: Yannibmbr
Customer: And I want Reese’s with that. Not a lot, but more than the normal amount, but not too much.
Ice cream artist: Okay…?
Ice cream place, Champlain Drive and Shepherd Avenue
Fresno, California
Overheard by: Just Another Ice Cream Maker
Tourist to vendor: Do you know where I can buy kosher pork chops?
North Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Eavesdropping Jew
