Get the 10 best quotesby e-mail weekly!
5PM On the Other Hand, They Can Get Away with Using Expressions Like "Omg!"
Office guy: I spent a year of my life having chocolate milk and a Butterfinger Bar for breakfast.
Office girl: Oh my god! I hate boys! Girls could never do that!
Office guy: That's because women have babies.
Boston, Massachusetts
4PM Um, I'll Just Put You Down As "Undecided."
Boss: Are you homophobic?
Employee: I have an African American cousin! Of course I'm not homophobic!
Nashville, Tennessee
3PM We've Heard Cats
Boss from other room: The most expensive coffee in the world, and...
Database monkey, yelling: Is that the kind that's shat out by monkeys?
Boss: No, leopards!
Austin, Texas
2PM Would You Like to Hear a Rant About the Price Of Orange Juice?
Patron: Will the bank will be open on Friday?
Teller: Yes sir, we are open. Why shouldn't we be?
Patron: I heard it will be very cold Thursday and Friday.
Teller: No sir, we don't close the bank due to cold weather. How can I help you?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Eddie
1PM The Eternal Question
Female security to male engineer who had again forgotten ID badge: I don't know why you guys don't just put it in your pants and just leave it there!
Portland, Oregon
12PM You've Always Struck Me As More Of a Swallower
Supervisor to staff member: Leave me alone or I will spit my nastiness on you.
Mclean, Virginia
11AM Best. Slot Machine. Ever.
Web developer boss: Aww, I didn't get a dildo this time. That's sad.
Mesa, Arizona
10AM I've Already Stuck a Little Flag in Mine!
Girl to friend: We'd take a day off to celebrate our box!
St. Louis, Missouri
9AM But Your Call Is Important to Us, So Please Remain on the Swine
Man on cell: That's just the delay in copulating your pig.
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: MonCree
5PM I'm Working on Your Employee Evaluation
Loud American coworker in next cubicle: Are you a mammal?
University Research Centre
Sydney
Australia
4PM They Tend to Cut Into My Boob-Watching Time
Admin on phone with engineer: Hello, it's me. (pause) At the desk. (pause) I know, what are you wearing? (pause) Haha...okay, we need to end this conversation, because I do not need to go to a seminar.
Boston, Massachusetts
3PM Something Of a Stretch for Americans
Coworker #1: I'm on this new diet.
Coworker #2: Oh yeah?
Coworker #1: Yeah, it's this diet where if you aren't hungry you don't eat.
Bloomington, Minnesota
2PM ...And Figure Out If They Need to Lose Weight.
Coworker: I just grab any woman who walks past--that's how I empower them!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I've been on the receiving end.
1PM Sometimes I Just Sit on Their Chests and Play Video Games
Student teaching CPR: They're unconscious. They won't know what's going on, so it's all good.
Leesburg, Virginia
| Food Delivery
Order delivery food online from 2000+ NYC restaurants. Save 20%. |
| Gift Ideas
Find the perfect gift idea for any occasion at Gifts.com. |
| Computer Chair
Find the perfect Computer Chair at seatingzone.com |
| Bar Stools
Add some contemporary style to your kitchen or home bar.
|
| Birthday Gifts
A great selection of Birthday Gifts at 1800-Flowers. |
| Bookcases
Find a wide array of Bookcases at Home Decorators Collection. |