5PM Business Etiquette Is Different in New York

Female receptionist to male receptionist: Since you're going to lunch in 20 minutes, can you fill up my water bottle?
Male receptionist: Can you blow me?

Avenue of the Americas
New York City, New York


Overheard by: gb


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4PM And It'll Make Our Presentation More Festive

Male IT worker: Body glitter is not that hard to wash off.

Richmond, Virginia


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3PM Yeah, He Set Off My Sprinklers

Accounting woman: I am leaking.
Accounting manager: I heard you just went to the doctor.

Northbrook, Illinois

Overheard by: fishbones


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2PM I'm Gonna Write Down a URL for You

CSR, looking at small child: I want a baby, but I want it to stay small like that.
Serious manager: Well, you should have sex with a dwarf.

Washington, DC


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1PM Oh-Nay Singular Sensation, Every Little Step She Takes

Annoying girl on phone: Great, so your user name is, "the power of oh-nay." Oh. One. That's probably what that is.

Poydras Center
New Orleans, Louisiana


Overheard by: Rosemary


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12PM ...Known by the Rest Of My Siblings As "Grandma"...

Political organizer: That crackhead bitch! Well, I don't like to call anyone a crackhead. (starts again) That one lady who smokes crack...

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: I don't like labels, either


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11AM What Do You Suppose "Lovin' Is What I Got" Means?

ISYS guy, listening to music: Sublime is awesome. "I smoke two joints in the morning. I smoke two joints at night". Where do they come up with this stuff?
Accountant: They probably smoked two joints.
ISYS guy: I know! Lyrical genius!

Provo, Utah


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10AM Fabio's Kids Have Unique Issues

Tech guy #1: My dad had real long hair. It was down to his butt.
Tech guy #2: Why did you dad have long hair?
Tech guy #1: My dad was famous. Famous guys have long hair.
Tech guy #2: What was your dad famous for?
Tech guy #1: I don't know.

Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing


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9AM I Told You Duct Tape Will Fix Anything

Worker #1: Did you hear about the industrial accident the other day?
Worker #2: No, what happened?
Worker #1: A cable broke and took out his whole left side!
Worker #2: Oh no!
Worker #1: It's okay, he's all right now.

Marysville, Washington

Overheard by: Noah


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5PM Didn't You See the Sudoku I Put on the Stall Wall for You?

Woman #1: I've been drinking tons of water.
Woman #2: Oh, yeah?
Woman #1: Yeah, I've been peeing like crazy.
Woman #2: Oh, yeah?
Woman #1: Yeah, like every five minutes. I hate peeing. It is so boring.

New York City, New York


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4PM On the Other Hand, She Is a Bandit

Director: I feel so bad for Sarah!
Intern: Who?
Director: Sarah, from [xyz] Corp! She got fired!
Intern: Oh, that's terrible.
Director: I feel so bad! And she only has one arm!

New York City, New York


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3PM Puppetry Of the Penis Auditions Were a Gruelling Affair

Boss to underling: Let me pull my package back out so it is in front of me.

Black Diamond, Washington


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2PM Barry White Is to Them What a Cross Is to a Vampire

Coworker #1: Your outgoing message sounds like a whispering Barry White.
Coworker #2: Well, you know...there are a lot of fruities out there and I got to keep them away.

Dallas, Texas


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1PM Looks Like Al Gore's Lost His Keys Again

Salesman: That guy from the internet is gonna call soon. I think he's in the internet right now or he'd call now.

Indianapolis, Indiana


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