Cube rat, talking about upcoming office picnic: I dunno man, I've always preferred a traditional keg stand.
New Jersey
Overheard by: looking forward to the festivities
Coworker: The back door isn't working.
Receptionist: Oh, yeah, the card thing isn't working. It'll be fixed soon.
Coworker: How do we get into the lab from the outside, then?
Receptionist: You'll have to use the door on the other side and go around. Sorry for the incontinence.
Lancaster, California
Manager: Who's Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young? Are they a law firm?
Toronto
Canadia
Coworker to another: I can't wait to see your wife's baby making place.
Atlanta, Georgia
Office worker #1: Marta's got a heart-on!
Office worker #2: What?
Office worker #1: A heart. She's wearing a heart necklace! She has a heart necklace on today.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: E.
Cubicle dweller #1: Do any animals eat humans?
Cubicle dweller #2: Uh, lets see... What does a koala eat?
Washington, DC
Manager; You don't stick your tongue on a 9-volt battery every day.
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker: These shoes fit me so tight, it feels like my foot is inside a vagina.
Ssilverdale, Washington
Overheard by: holy awkward
Analyst on phone: It's his equipment. I'll shove it in there if it's his equipment. (pause) What do you mean, "that's what they heard about me?"
Skokie, Illinois
Coworker to another: It's not up to you to do the right thing.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: anoyed
Finance clerk: Every time she comes in here, he grabs it and pulls it out, and she runs away.
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Receptionitis
Peon #1: He was basically using the frog as a Fleshlight.
Peon #2: What's a Fleshlight?
Allston, Massachusetts
Senior professor: So, Vladimir*, when will this project be finished?
PhD student: Time is a... dynamic thing!
University of Leuven
Belgium
Receptionist: Some people have no arms because their mothers were booze hounds.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Proud of my mom for giving me all of my limbs
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