Female coworker #1: You can’t blow them if you’re laughing.
Female coworker #2: I guess that’s true.
Female coworker #3: Even when I blow them they keep coming back into my face. This is why you should not have bubbles at an office party!
Houston, Texas
Worker #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Manager: Yeah, it’s been hectic. I need some of that geico balboa stuff.
Worker #1: Uh, ginko bilboa?
Project Manager: That’s what I said.
Worker #1: No, you said “geico balboa”.
Project Manager: What’s the difference?
Worker #1: Well, Geico is an insurance company, and Balboa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Manager: Ha! I wonder if he gets a hard time for that.
Worker #1: He’s not a real person. Besides, I think what you meant was you needed some ginseng. Do you know what ginko bilboa is for?
Worker #2: Okay, seriously, how long is this meeting going to be?
6700 Hollister Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Damien Sebastiani
Woman: So you only listen to the Cardigans on your iPod while you work?
Man: Yeah, they make me feel like a 16 year old girl just after a hot shower, fresh and tingly all over.
1111 Fannin Street
Houston, Texas
Coworker, on taking kids to get flu shots: When I took them, they were great. They only cried a little. My daughter said, “daddy, I feel safer doing shots with you.”
Grapevine, Texas
HR girl: Have you looked at that guy’s resume?
HR guy: Yeah, but I’m a little concerned about his spermatic work history.
HR girl: … Sporadic?
HR guy: Yeah. My bad.
Terrell, Texas
Overheard by: HR girl 2
50-something admin talking about a gay couple she knew in the past: Back then there was an astigmatism associated with it.
Medical Center
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Wow am I glad my last day is in a week.
Cashier #1: Hey man, I think I might be gay.
Cashier #2: What’s wrong?
Cashier #1: I keep having fantasies about being with a man. What should I do?
Cashier #2: Jerk off. A lot. If you do it enough, it’ll get the gay out. It worked for me.
HEB Austin 15, North Lamar
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Jeff
Employee: I have to go to the restroom and grab a bite to eat.
1800 West Loop South
Houston, Texas
Manager: Did you get a response back from that email you sent to the buyer yet?
Co-worker: No; I didn’t ask her for one. She knew what action I took and if she didn’t agree with me, she can call me.
Manager: No, no. You should always include “please advise” in the email, in case they don’t receive the email.
8000 Bent Branch Drive
Irving, Texas
