Border patrol agent: I tried to tell the guy his brother was dead. Metamorphosis had already set in.
3423 Interstate Highway 35
Cotulla, Texas
Border patrol agent: I tried to tell the guy his brother was dead. Metamorphosis had already set in.
3423 Interstate Highway 35
Cotulla, Texas
Manager: We need to be less stupider on how we do…things…We need to work on our synergy, ensure we’re interlocking with our process improvements…You need to have a sense of urgency, a relaxed urgency where you don’t hurry anyone else but you.
1 Dell Way
Round Rock, Texas
Overheard by: Anonymous Tech
Vietnamese coworker using cardboard to fix cubicle, happily: It's like being in refugee camp all over again.
Austin, Texas
Cube dweller: I know he was yelling at me, but he was wearing the same members-only jacket as Rosario from Will and Grace!
523 North Sam Houston Parkway East
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: bemused
Assistant: I don’t know if you want to give him a call or not.
Boss #1: What happened?
Assistant: He mouthed off to a cop.
Boss #1: Sounds like Eric*.
Boss #2: Eric didn’t mouth off to a cop.
Boss #1: I thought he did.
Boss #2: No, he ran over a cop. There’s a big difference between running a cop over and mouthing off to one.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: can’t make it up
Seaman, next to air force guys: I love Dick's! (pause) The restaurant, that is.
Airman: We always knew there was something about you seamen.
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: I like them too.
Co-worker, complaining about his chapped lips: These chapped lips really suck big dick.
The Arboretum
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: El Gato
Drone #1: It’s a different texture.
Drone #2: It’s hard. I’ll suck.
Austin, Texas
Cube monkey #1: What are you wearing to the Christmas party?
Cube monkey #2: A black dress with a santa hat.
Cube monkey #1: Very festive…and probably busty.
Cube monkey #2: Why wouldnt it be? It’s my dress.
Cube monkey #1: You could probably wear a burqa and be busty.
2300 West Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Lauren
