Texas

50-something admin talking about a gay couple she knew in the past: Back then there was an astigmatism associated with it.

Medical Center
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Wow am I glad my last day is in a week.

Cashier #1: Hey man, I think I might be gay.
Cashier #2: What’s wrong?
Cashier #1: I keep having fantasies about being with a man. What should I do?
Cashier #2: Jerk off. A lot. If you do it enough, it’ll get the gay out. It worked for me.

HEB Austin 15, North Lamar
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Jeff

Worker #1: Man, I’m having a hard time since I’ve had to write about me. Do you have any suggestions?
Worker #2: I don’t know. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to sell myself.

900 Washington Avenue
Waco, Texas

Employee: I have to go to the restroom and grab a bite to eat.

1800 West Loop South
Houston, Texas

Manager: Did you get a response back from that email you sent to the buyer yet?
Co-worker: No; I didn’t ask her for one. She knew what action I took and if she didn’t agree with me, she can call me.
Manager: No, no. You should always include “please advise” in the email, in case they don’t receive the email.

8000 Bent Branch Drive
Irving, Texas

Boss: I was asked to suggest some strong people for this open
position in another department, and I think you’d be great for the job, but if you leave me, I’ll kill you.

8200 Interstate Highway 10 W
San Antonio, Texas

Disembodied voice coming from men's room: Aww, man! We do that every year! …usually with our teeth …and while he's still alive.

Austin, Texas

Office troll #1: Gosh, there were a bunch of Mexicans at lunch today. Where do you think they all came from?
Office troll #2: Mexico.

Dallas, Texas

Tech: I came home last night and my right ass was killing me! I had to sit on my left ass!

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Server-tron

Regional director to underling: I can almost see up your ass and read your mind.
Underling: I don’t know what to do with that.

Midway Road
Addison, Texas

Overheard by: covering my ass from now on