Co-worker, complaining about his chapped lips: These chapped lips really suck big dick.
The Arboretum
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: El Gato
Co-worker, complaining about his chapped lips: These chapped lips really suck big dick.
The Arboretum
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: El Gato
Drone #1: It’s a different texture.
Drone #2: It’s hard. I’ll suck.
Austin, Texas
Cube monkey #1: What are you wearing to the Christmas party?
Cube monkey #2: A black dress with a santa hat.
Cube monkey #1: Very festive…and probably busty.
Cube monkey #2: Why wouldnt it be? It’s my dress.
Cube monkey #1: You could probably wear a burqa and be busty.
2300 West Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Lauren
Girl: Yeah, he thought you meant that I was gonna make cheese from my breast milk, you know, to save money…
Boss: That’s not what I meant.
Girl: I know!
Texas
Overheard by: the lowly receptionist
Secretary, poking head into crowded conference room: Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Coffee out of my nose…
Female coworker #1: You can’t blow them if you’re laughing.
Female coworker #2: I guess that’s true.
Female coworker #3: Even when I blow them they keep coming back into my face. This is why you should not have bubbles at an office party!
Houston, Texas
Worker #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Manager: Yeah, it’s been hectic. I need some of that geico balboa stuff.
Worker #1: Uh, ginko bilboa?
Project Manager: That’s what I said.
Worker #1: No, you said “geico balboa”.
Project Manager: What’s the difference?
Worker #1: Well, Geico is an insurance company, and Balboa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Manager: Ha! I wonder if he gets a hard time for that.
Worker #1: He’s not a real person. Besides, I think what you meant was you needed some ginseng. Do you know what ginko bilboa is for?
Worker #2: Okay, seriously, how long is this meeting going to be?
6700 Hollister Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Damien Sebastiani
Woman: So you only listen to the Cardigans on your iPod while you work?
Man: Yeah, they make me feel like a 16 year old girl just after a hot shower, fresh and tingly all over.
1111 Fannin Street
Houston, Texas
Coworker, on taking kids to get flu shots: When I took them, they were great. They only cried a little. My daughter said, “daddy, I feel safer doing shots with you.”
Grapevine, Texas
HR girl: Have you looked at that guy’s resume?
HR guy: Yeah, but I’m a little concerned about his spermatic work history.
HR girl: … Sporadic?
HR guy: Yeah. My bad.
Terrell, Texas
Overheard by: HR girl 2
