Manager #1: Here’s your stupid file, because your stupid student workers didn’t stupid-finish the stupid work on the stupid contract, so I had to stupid-do it myself.
Manager #2: Heh, pretty gay, right there.
Student worker: Bill*, come on… He’s just so proud when he learns a new word.
6100 Main Street
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: ninjacles
Coworker #1: [taking on the phone.]Coworker #2: Do you sleep in a butter dish or something?
Coworker #1: [continues talking on the phone.]
Houston, Texas
Heavy lady #1: God, I’m on this new diet, and I’m having a hard time staying on it.
Heavy lady #2: Is it the soup diet?
Heavy lady #1: Yeah… All I’ve had to eat today was a half bowl of soup.
Heavy lady #2: Did you eat the banana yet?
Heavy lady #1: No, I tried. I don’t really like bananas.
504 Lavaca Street
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: GangerBanger
Project manager: She came by for a donut this morning, and I forgot to nail her then.
Las Colinas, Texas
Coworker: We can look at his package.
Fort Worth, Texas
HR rep to boss: You might have to do the down-and-dirty thing.
Dallas, Texas
Cube girl: Man, being on my knees down here really hurts…
Greenville, Texas
Overheard by: me next?
Ad rep running to office for Post-Its: I need my stickies, I need my stickies, I need my stickies! I get nervous without my stickies…
Texas
Overheard by: it’s a good thing she’s pretty
Visiting techie on phone: What's wrong with the clock? Is it plugged in? Well, move the fridge then… I can, but I'm two-and-a-half hours away…
Texas
Oblivious female office worker: I really like getting adjusted. Some people say it hurts, but to me it feels so good! A good release of tension.
Male office worker: “Adjusted.” Is that what they call it now?
Oblivious female office worker: Yep, it has many names. I see my chiropractor for an adjustment two or three times a week.
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Jeremy
