Box office manager: Sir, this is the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. I can’t tell you how to fix your microwave.
800 East Grand Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Box office manager: Sir, this is the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. I can’t tell you how to fix your microwave.
800 East Grand Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Worker: Is the mailer-daemon a real person?
Tech: Really?
11766 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Boss: Why does your ‘Help’ work?
Employee: Because I installed it and set it up correctly.
Boss: Why doesn’t Greg’s* ‘Help’ work, then?
Employee: Do you want me to go in there and help him wipe, too?
4500 Research Way
Corvallis, Oregon
IT manager: You know, every application needs a command like that: ‘File, just do it.’
West 3rd Street
New York, New York
Coworker #1: Who’s ringing?
Coworker #2: Not me. I vibrate.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss: I can’t get this damn phone to work.
Coworker: It helps if you’re just a little bit smarter than the technology.
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Pharmacy tech on phone: Thanks for calling ABC Pharmacy*… Yes, ma’am. Ma’am… Ma’am… Ma’am! Just speak your refill number to me — don’t punch it in your phone!
Braselton Highway
Dacula, Georgia
Overheard by: PharmDawg
Smart guy: I sent a copy of that e-mail out to the S&M guys, too.
Conference call audience: Okay, sounds good.
Progress Boulevard
Alachua, Florida
Overheard by: Cramped office-mate
Lab rat #1: What was the IT guy doing here?
Lab rat #2: Connecting the refrigerator to the Internet… There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.
Fordham University
New York, New York
Overheard by: Andrea
Slutty coworker: Oh, I just joined the most fantastic group in MySpace, XYZ Friends*. It’s incredible. You don’t even have to look for men — you just join and men fly all over you.
Snarky coworker: You flaming parakeet.
São Paulo
Brazil
