Coworker, about botched client presentation: His learning curve is big. He'll make the same mistakes six times before he gets it, but after that sixth time, he'll never make that same mistake again!
Parsippany, New Jersey
Coworker, about botched client presentation: His learning curve is big. He'll make the same mistakes six times before he gets it, but after that sixth time, he'll never make that same mistake again!
Parsippany, New Jersey
Sales rep: Why didn't you say “woo-hoo”? Is it not big enough for you?
Assistant manager: Woo-hoo! There, you happy?
Sales rep: Yes.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Young wife sighing: All I pray for is a gay son.
Husband: All our sons will be straight.
Young wife: Just the youngest one can be gay. I need one gay son. You won’t even notice.
Husband: No, it won’t happen. Costa Ricans don’t have gay sons. And I want my name passed on.
Young wife: I’ll wait until you go to work, then put makeup and heels on him and let him be himself. I need someone to talk to when you are gone.
Sandwich shop
Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey
Ditzy CSR: I totally rocked Guitar Hero last night! I played the best song!
Innocent cube mate: Oh yeah? What song?
Ditzy CSR: You know, umm… That Aerosmith song, “Livin' on a Prayer”?
Only guy in the department: Dude! We live in New Jersey. That's Bon Jovi… I should just end my life now.
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Female coworker: Anyway, my brother-in-law is standing there wearing pajama pants and a guinea-tee… Oh, maybe I shouldn’t say ‘guinea…’ I don’t want to offend anyone.
Male coworker: A minute ago you suggested to our Asian coworker that he name his daughter Lynn because his last name is Lin, then you told him it would be like the giant panda, Lin Lin… And now you’re worried about offending someone?
Female coworker: Oh, that’s different. He knows me.
New Jersey
Overheard by: Glad she doesn’t know that I’m Cuban.
Coworker #1: I was a munchkin in high school. My only line was ‘Cry-meny!’
Coworker #2: You mean ‘crih-miny’?
Coworker #1: Well, there goes my moment in the sunshine.
300 Witherspoon Street
Princeton, New Jersey
Tech guy on phone: If it’s fixed, it’s not working.
South Brunswick, New Jersey
Woman: I heard that if a pregnant woman gets a flu shot, the baby has all sorts of birth defects, like 12 heads and two feet.
Municipal Building
New Jersey
Boss: The more questions you ask, the more explanations I have to give.
Sylvan Avenue
Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey
Supervisor #1: Anyone want any chocolate? I have three pounds.
Supervisor #2: From the boyfriend, huh?
Supervisor #3: I don’t think I could eat three pounds of anything. What could I eat three pounds of?
Supervisor #1: Ice cream. I could eat three pounds of ice cream.
Supervisor #3: I could definitely eat three pounds of ice cream. That’s kind of a gross thought, though.
Supervisor #1: It’s like eating a preemie.
200 New Canton Way
Robbinsville, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon hate v-day
