Receptionist, puzzled: This is really dry. I guess all the juice is in my box.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Ian
Archive for the ‘Missouri’ Category
I Wondered Why We Kept Receiving Nipple Clamps for the Toys for Tots Drive
Worker #1: Ohmigod! I was typing a letter and I was typing really fast and instead of typing “tots” I typed “tits”!
Worker #2, underwhelmed: Really? That’s funny.
Worker #1: No, really!! I typed “tits,” like t‑i-t‑s, at least I think that’s how you spell it.
Jefferson City, Missouri
It’s Just, the Company’s Been Accused of Getting Soft
Office grunt: I was just going to jerk them off but I figured it would be best to ask first.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: wes
2PM Install Sprinklers and Asbestos
Office Clerk #1: Have you noticed that there aren’t any ceiling sprinklers in this entire building?
Office Clerk #2: Y’know, you’re right. But there are smoke detectors.
Office Clerk #1: And those will certainly help put out the flames when we’re trapped in our cubicles.
Supervisor: Well…maybe the sprinklers are above the false ceiling.
Employee #1: Oh…so when there is a fire the sprinklers will soak the ceiling tiles which will cause them to fall to the ground and smother the flames?
406 West 34th Street
Kansas City, Missouri
I’m Slightly Nauseated, but Intrigued
Drone to another: I have something that may tie up your loose end.
Kansas City, Missouri
Stupid Musical Urinals
Employee: I have “Holly Jolly Christmas” in my head, and it’s all the bathroom’s fault.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Meghan
Say Her Keyboard’s Emoticonstipated
E‑mail admin: I am not taking a trouble ticket where she says, ‘I meant to send a smiley face but instead sent a frowny face.’
St. Louis, Missouri
Hmm, These Just Smell Like Feces.
Exec, walking into his office: Woah, it smells like tuna in here! (smells his hands)
Kansas City , Missouri
Overheard by: staying WAY out of that one
Maybe Mix It with Stoli?
Girl at desk: My friend told me about how they paid two grand to freeze the stem cells from her son’s umbilical cord so it could save his life or something later.
Guy at desk: Why don’t they just have him drink the fluid out of the umbilical cord?
Male coworker: Orrr they could just put the stuff in the freezer.
3111 S. Range Line Road
Joplin, Missouri
11AM Beta Testing
CIO: That’s okay, I had typed out several comments on how stupid this was. However, I deleted them when I realized you might dig into the history and find out I was the idiot who requested them.
Peon: A CIO with a sense of humor is a dangerous thing.
2301 Maguire Boulevard
Columbia, Missouri
