Archive for the ‘Missouri’ Category

2PM Install Sprinklers and Asbestos

Office Clerk #1: Have you noticed that there aren’t any ceiling sprinklers in this entire building?
Office Clerk #2: Y’know, you’re right. But there are smoke detectors.
Office Clerk #1: And those will certainly help put out the flames when we’re trapped in our cubicles.
Supervisor: Well…maybe the sprinklers are above the false ceiling.
Employee #1: Oh…so when there is a fire the sprinklers will soak the ceiling tiles which will cause them to fall to the ground and smother the flames?

406 West 34th Street
Kansas City, Missouri

Maybe Mix It with Stoli?

Girl at desk: My friend told me about how they paid two grand to freeze the stem cells from her son’s umbilical cord so it could save his life or something later.
Guy at desk: Why don’t they just have him drink the fluid out of the umbilical cord?
Male coworker: Orrr they could just put the stuff in the freezer.

3111 S. Range Line Road
Joplin, Missouri

11AM Beta Testing

CIO: That’s okay, I had typed out several comments on how stupid this was. However, I deleted them when I realized you might dig into the history and find out I was the idiot who requested them.
Peon: A CIO with a sense of humor is a dangerous thing.

2301 Maguire Boulevard
Columbia, Missouri