Coworker, calling IT department: Hi, I am running low on pixel fluid for my monitor.
Hagerstown, Maryland
Coworker, calling IT department: Hi, I am running low on pixel fluid for my monitor.
Hagerstown, Maryland
Office girl #1: Last night, when I went up on my roof to smoke, I saw the masturbator again.
Office girl #2: I’m coming over!
Eutaw Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Managing director: Did you meet Daron* yesterday?
HR recruiter: Daron?
Managing director: I introduced him to you yesterday.
HR recruiter: Who?
Managing director: I did.
HR recruiter: No, you didn’t.
Managing director: … Maybe I’m going crazy. You know — Daron, with the dreads.
HR recruiter: With what?
Managing director: Dreads. You know — dreadlocks.
HR recruiter: Oh, I hate those.
Managing director: What? Dreadlocks have been around since the Bible.
HR recruiter: What?
Managing director: Since Samson and Delilah. Samson had dreads.
HR recruiter: Who did?
Managing director: Samson!
HR recruiter: You mean Daron?
Managing director: Who?
6105 Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Mother of freshman student: California kids are different. They are very different. They're just a different type of human being.
Loyola University
Maryland
Overheard by: Exhausted Admin
Employee on phone: Last name is “Loveless,” as in Artemus Loveless from Wild Wild West. You know, the movie with Will Smith? (awkward pause) Well, I loved the movie.
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: WillSmithFan1
Female employee to male employee: Can I borrow your knob?
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: C David Dent
Senior accountant to auditors: Well, you see I am just not that good with numbers.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Receptionist
Programmer: Cause of death… Amazing coding!
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Professor #1: I need some furniture for my new house, but everything here is so weird and expensive.
Professor #2: You should go up to Pennsylvania. The Amish hand-make very nice furniture, and it’s not that bad price-wise.
Professor #1: The Amish… okay. Do they deliver?
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Customer: Do you have a circular for this week?
Cashier: Uh, no. We don’t have those.
Customer: You don’t have a flyer advertising your weekly specials?
Cashier: Oh, you mean this?
Customer: Yeah! The circular. What I said.
Cashier: Ma’am, this is not a circular. This is a rectangle.
Target
Waldorf, Maryland
Overheard by: SeeNoSpeakNo
