Security guard in lobby: Ma'am, you need to take the baby out of the pumpkin seat before you put the pumpkin seat through the x-ray machine.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Girl Friday
Security guard in lobby: Ma'am, you need to take the baby out of the pumpkin seat before you put the pumpkin seat through the x-ray machine.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Girl Friday
CSR #1: Don’t make fun of me, but where is San Francisco?
CSR #2, laughing: What? Are you serious? We have an office there!
CSR #1: I said don’t make fun of me!
CSR #2: California, Lisa*. It’s in California.
Fishers, Indiana
Overheard by: Geography is not her best subject
Bus boy #1: I went to the new hostess’s MySpace page.
Bus boy #2: The little mousey girl?
Bus boy #1: Turns out she’s bi. Got a picture on there of her getting nailed from behind by another chick with a strap-on.
Bus boy #2: God, if my mom would let me, I would marry her!
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Attorney to another: You are always a lot of fun when your dress ends up around your waist. Or your head. Or your feet.
1 Indiana Square
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Amanda
Partner to associates at attorney meeting: Billable hours are down for the year. Based on what we’ve billed so far, we have approximately four attorneys too many… assuming people are fungible.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Newbie: I need to use the restroom.
Waiter: If you need to shit you’d better get here before the Mexicans get in the employee bathroom. I don’t know what the fuck they eat, but their shit smells like it has sugar on it.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Waiter, at new copy machine: Which way does this go in: face down or up, sideways or lengthways?…You’re not going to tell me, are you?
Manager: We’ve got plenty of paper over there; keep trying until you get it right.
45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Deputy: That guy told the judge that the crack they found up his ass wasn’t his.
Police station
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: more information than anyone needed
Computer programmer guy #1: I don't even play video games.
Computer programmer guy #2: That's because you didn't want to wrap it up.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Heather
Paralegal #1: I'll be right back. Don't tell anyone, I'm just gonna go take the boss's car for a spin. And I'm gonna go 113 miles per hour.
Paralegal #2: Have fun!
Law Firm
Indiana
