Flight attendant to delayed travelers: Last call for Winnipeg… We still have plenty of seats available. I know there are a lot of canceled flights today. Have you ever considered a trip to Canada?
O’Hare International Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Considered it.
Employee #1: How do you like your new office? Is the glare from the lights a problem? If so, I can twist the bulbs like I did in that other office.
Employee #2: That sounds kind of kinky.
Employee #1: Yeah!
Chicago, Illinois
Designer: … And we still have to buy legs for the twins.
111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Analyst: Somebody open a Help Desk ticket… I need a wet bar. It would be nice to have some brandy next to the coffee… It’s the end of the day — it’s Friday… I need some alcohol. I need some help.
Hospital
Evanston, Illinois
Cube rat #1: You want a squirt of this stuff?
Cube rat #2: Sure, I’d like a squirt of your stuff.
Cube rat #1: I just love the ways this stuff smells.
Cube rat #2: And it feels great, also!
Slokie, Illinois
Overheard by: Electrical Estimator
Junior art director: I have 44 minutes to make a baby.
303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: wha?
Phone support girl: You see where it says ‘Title’ at the top? Just fill that in.
Client on other line: What do you mean ‘title’?
Phone support girl: You know… Like president, accounts receivable or payable… Whatever your title in your office is.
Client on other line: Can’t I just put biotch?
Phone support girl: … I guess if you wanted to…
Chicago, Illinois
Box office manager: Sir, this is the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. I can’t tell you how to fix your microwave.
800 East Grand Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Office grunt: His lunch smells like he took a shit on a plate and microwaved it.
265 North Western Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Melissa B.
Creepster coworker: That leather is soft, like your mother’s skin.
Brush College Road
Decatur, Illinois
Overheard by: My mother’s softer than leather
