Junior art director: I have 44 minutes to make a baby.
303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: wha?
Junior art director: I have 44 minutes to make a baby.
303 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: wha?
Phone support girl: You see where it says ‘Title’ at the top? Just fill that in.
Client on other line: What do you mean ‘title’?
Phone support girl: You know… Like president, accounts receivable or payable… Whatever your title in your office is.
Client on other line: Can’t I just put biotch?
Phone support girl: … I guess if you wanted to…
Chicago, Illinois
Box office manager: Sir, this is the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. I can’t tell you how to fix your microwave.
800 East Grand Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Office grunt: His lunch smells like he took a shit on a plate and microwaved it.
265 North Western Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Melissa B.
Creepster coworker: That leather is soft, like your mother’s skin.
Brush College Road
Decatur, Illinois
Overheard by: My mother’s softer than leather
60-ish suit in Cubs jacket on cell: I’m on the bus right now. I’m going to the Cubs game. Well, I just left Dad, and I gotta say, it doesn’t look too good. They’re feeding him through a stomach tube and they’ve got him on a drip. You know, he had that quadruple bypass a couple of years ago and he’s got diabetes now… He’s been unconscious most of the time when I visit him, and… Yeah, well, don’t wish me good luck. The Cubbies are the ones who need it!
Clarke Street bus
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: priorities schmiorities
Grunt #1 on phone: They said that I was down there for one of two reasons — to buy drugs or find a prostitute.
Grunt #2, after #1 hangs up: I don’t want to know. As long as it was billable…
Grunt #1: What’s the task code for hiring a prostitute?
180 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: in tears
Boss: You shouldn’t throw glass stones at a house!
155 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Peon #1: So, how’s that burn on your arm?
Peon #2: It kind of looks like prime rib.
1750 East Golf Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Emily
Lawyer on phone: Well, if you’re a girl, I must be the queen’s bimbo.
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
