Boss: Why were you late today?
Employee: I went out last night and I stayed out too late.
Boss: I am not sure if I should admire your honesty or if I should fire you for not having the courtesy to lie to me.
17 Battery Place
New York, NY
Boss: Why were you late today?
Employee: I went out last night and I stayed out too late.
Boss: I am not sure if I should admire your honesty or if I should fire you for not having the courtesy to lie to me.
17 Battery Place
New York, NY
HR manager: God, I hate it when you bring me that junk!
Admin: These are people’s resumes.
HR manager: Fine, shove your junk in my box.
Admin: Excuse me?
HR manager: Just leave it in my box. I’ll throw it away in the morning.
80 Grasslands Road
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Woman with shoes: But…you’re totally drunk.
Woman without shoes: I so want to get fired today.
633 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Professor: A modern example of the peasant revolt of 1381 are the anti-poll tax riots that took place under Margaret Thatcher. She refused to work with the public, and it brought down her government. We should take a lesson from this… I hope there are no microphones in here.
Skidmore College
Saratoga Springs, New York
Overheard by: Hopes There Aren’t
Candidate: At my last job, our supervisors drilled it into us that we had to document everything we designed.
Interviewer: And what was the purpose of documenting your designs?
Candidate: They were getting ready to fire us.
47 Mall Drive
Commack, New York
Manager: Your breath alcohol came back at point 09. We are going to have to term your contract, and you can get a taxi to go get your stuff out of your truck and find a way home.
Driver: That’s a bummer.
7238 Western Select Drive
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: I’m Having a Good Day!
I-banker: Why can’t we just donate money to hire people to do this work?
2615 W. 84th Place
Chicago, Illinois
Interviewee: My current girlfriend used to be a lesbian, but she’s straight now.
209 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California
Overheard by: Interviewer in another row
Worker #1: Who’s that?
Worker #2: What, the new temp?
Worker #1: Oh. What happened to the other lady?
Worker #2: She was too over-qualified.
Worker #1: What, and the new guy’s not? What is his experience?
Worker #2: Well, he was a turd farmer from poor Virginia.
Des Moines, Iowa
Manager: We’re hiring another producer in Quebec. And one thing that I think we all agree on is that his English has to be very, very well.
180 Varick Street
New York, New York
