Peon: I was normally born, and I have a normal head!
11149 Research Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: across the cube
Peon: I was normally born, and I have a normal head!
11149 Research Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: across the cube
Admin: I am going to heaven!
Boss: What makes you think that?
Admin: I wrote my brother a letter.
Boss: How long has he been in jail?
Admin: Two years, and I have not spoken to him since my friend got killed.
Boss: Sooo, you think because you wrote him a letter you are going to heaven? Do you forgive him?
Admin: Hell no! If I see him, I will kill him. But I wrote him a letter!
Dallas, Texas
Woman: My sister got out of rehab on Tuesday and died of an overdose on Friday, and I just got the rehab bill in the mail.
Friend: I’d tell thems to stick ‘at bill up they asses — that shit didn’t work! It’s like gettin’ a bad weave! You don’t pay fo’ no bad weaves, does you?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Coworker: I sound like such a dumbass, but I swear I’m not!
1400 Penn Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Supervisor: Good job!
Needy peon: Really?
Supervisor: Yes, of course! Why don’t you ever believe me?
Needy peon: ‘Cause last week I said, ‘I trust you,’ and you said, ‘Oh, God, don’t do that!’
Supervisor: Oh, yeah…
Louisville, Kentucky
Recruiter on phone: That’s not a Greek philosopher — that’s Dr. Seuss!
Washington, DC
Salesguy #1: …so she totally doesn’t mind sexual harassment.
Salesguy #2: Really?
Salesguy #1: Well, she does and she doesn’t. It depends on who’s doing it.
105 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Head of HR: I bet you he’s [the COO] a total virgin. Probably even a hand virgin.
402 Pacific Avenue
San Francisco, California
Program Manager: Dude! You know that one tech writer, that one chick?
Engineer: Yeah, the older one? She’s a nice person.
Program Manager: Yeah, I know. Man, sometimes she gets like this massive camel-toe.
Engineer: Dude, you need whisper those kinds of things.
Program Manager: But man, you could measure it in inches! Oh shit, here she comes.
She walks by. The Program Manager follows her, turns around seconds later and gives the split finger sign.
41311 Vincenti Court
Novi, Michigan
Girl: …did you go to Overheard in the Office? It said, “Helpful Co-worker: Does anyone want anything from Starbucks? Tired Co-worker: Yeah, get me a triple iced mocha with a shot of crack in it.”
Guy: That sounds delicious, although I don’t think baking soda tastes so good.
Girl: Believe it or not, I’ve actually tried baking soda–for heartburn. Works great, tastes like ass.
Guy: Are you for real? Think of the wonders crack must do for heartburn, then.
Girl: What heartburn? You don’t eat anything while you’re on crack!
Guy: By the way, your last comment was Overheard in the Office worthy.
1201 Broadway
New York, NY
