Man: And I said, ‘I think you’ve taken me to the wrong place. It’s full of naked men…’
Princeton, New Jersey
Man: And I said, ‘I think you’ve taken me to the wrong place. It’s full of naked men…’
Princeton, New Jersey
Peon #1: It smells like someone took a huge shit. What the hell is that?
Peon #2: It’s the tacos. I had tacos for lunch. Does it smell like tacos?
69 North 69th Street
New York, New York
Consultant: I was a straight-A student until fourth grade.
Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Adam
Pretty bisexual waitress: You’ve got to have something to look forward to — one way or the other, I’m getting laid tonight.
Ugly asexual waiter: I know what you mean — I’m going to have breakfast food for dinner.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Smoking peon: I was like any normal kid — give me a Butane Torch, and I’m gonna burn everything I can find.
22nd Street and 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Christina
Female patron in upscale salon: My friends do everything their stylist says to. I’m like, ‘Grow a set, already’!
Springfield, Virginia
Overheard by: James
Worker bee: I guess he’s a she now. Or again, I guess. Gender pronouns don’t really apply, apparently.
3215 Corporate Court
Ellicott City, Maryland
Coworker #1: Tuesday through Friday, and then Monday and Tuesday The Simpsons Movie is playing at the [nearby theater].
Coworker #2: Didn’t you see it already and say that it sucked?
Coworker #1: Yes, but I was sober.
Library
Anchorage, Alaska
Secretary: Oh my god. I walked past this hobo that smelled so bad I could taste it. I mean, I might as well have licked him.
Paralegal: Did he have blood running down his leg onto his foot? I think I’ve smelled him before, too.
601 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
