Worker explaining new fax machine: Stand there and just stick it in. Bottom up.
Piedmont, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Worker explaining new fax machine: Stand there and just stick it in. Bottom up.
Piedmont, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Agent: We used to play this drinking game when I was twnety. They still have it now. What was that called? President? Mr. President? Oh, yeah! ‘Asshole’!
2661 Riva Road
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Just the Receptionist
Office guy spatting while office girl: You slap like my mom.
Office girl: [Laughs.]Client on speakerphone with office supervisor who’s frantically hushing employees: I think the guy in the background just said he slept with his mom.
Ringwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: cps
Earnest cube rat: If it’s ready on time, it will be ready. But if it’s not ready on time, then it won’t be ready.
14455 North Hayden Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cubey McCuberton
Customer: Can you tell me if the installer is running on time today?
CSR: I have no way of knowing that, sir. Your appointment is scheduled between twelve and four today. If the installer is not there by four, then you can call back and we can tell you that he is running late.
Enfield, Connecticut
Employee #1, looking at intranet option of business transactions menu: Hey, look! Heh. These morons spelled ‘Internet’ wrong on this menu.
Employee #2: No, they didn’t.
Employee #1: Yes, they did. See?
Employee #2: No, an intranet is different than the Internet. It’s sort of like a private version of the Internet for corporations and organizations.
Employee #1: Oh, seriously? Damn, look at you, making me feel all stupid and shit. I’ve never heard of that before in my life. I bet you’re the only one here who knows that. Look, I’ll prove it to you. [Calls boss over.] Look, they spelled ‘Internet’ wrong on this menu.
Boss: Oh, I know! Isn’t it funny? Yeah, those morons at corporate can’t spell!
Hackensack, New Jersey
Manager #1: My roommate is acting a little off.
Manager #2: What do you mean?
Manager #1: It’s like her elevator doesn’t go to the top anymore.
Staff: You have an elevator in your house?
Sonoma, California
Coworker: Maybe when my first cat dies from misuse…
209 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California
Coworker: Wow, you have a totally different view of the world when you’re wearing pants…
Boulder, Colorado
Office grunt on phone: I absolutely agree… with myself!
1 Howard Street
Burlington, Vermont
