Employee #1: So how do we go about naming our aircraft?
Employee #2: Well, the Reserve has a plane named The Spirit of Ronald Reagan.
Employee #1: Who is that named after?
Boss: It’s named after the airport, I think.
The Pentagon
Arlington, Virginia
Employee #1: So how do we go about naming our aircraft?
Employee #2: Well, the Reserve has a plane named The Spirit of Ronald Reagan.
Employee #1: Who is that named after?
Boss: It’s named after the airport, I think.
The Pentagon
Arlington, Virginia
Customer: They’re three for $0.99.
Cashier: We don’t sell them at that price. They’re $0.33 each.
Big Lots Store #1906, 498 South Boulder Highway
Henderson, Nevada
Overheard by: Lee Hall
Girl: Hey, Pete*, are you feeling smart today?
Guy #1: Maybe, why?
Girl: Do you know if Korea is a separate country, or is it, like, part of China or Japan?
Guy #1: I have no idea. Why do you need to know?
Girl: I’m trying to look up UPS rates for Korea, but I can’t find Korea.
Guy #1: Troy*!
Guy #2: Yes?
Guy #1: Is Korea a separate country from China or Japan?
Guy #2: Yes.
Girl: OK, well, I can’t find it on the drop-down. Is it called something else?
Guy #2: Republic of Korea?
Girl: No.
Guy #2: South Korea?
Girl: Oh… OK, there it is!
Phoenix, Arizona
Employee #1: Blacks, blacks everywhere! Stupid blacks! I can’t do anything with them. They just take over.
Employee #2: Cletus*, quit playing solitaire and do some work.
Downtown
Missoula, Montana
Overheard by: non-profit ninja
Customer: Does this come in black?
Store clerk: Yes. [walks off]
Department store, Rockville Pike
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Speaker on fax machine: Listen, you freakin’ idiot, this is the third time in five minutes you’re tryin’ to fax something to a phone number.
Employee in adjacent cubicle, two minutes later: Yeah, hi, this is the freakin’ idiot… [loud squelching]… shit, now I dialed their fax number.
Georgesville Road
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: laughing in next cubicle
Desk assistant: So what happens if we go on strike? Do we not come to work?
CBS Broadcast Center, 524 West 57th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: This is the future of network news
Dumb girl: So if it is like 6 in California then it’s like 6:30 in Nevada, right?
Dumber girl: No, Nevada’s really close to Cali. It’s probably only like 6:15.
6397 Springfield Mall
Springfield, Virginia
Overheard by: marshamellow
Telephone customer: Hi, I need to find the international rates for calling to France.
Local phone operator: France? That’s in England, right?
55 Water Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: disbelief
Executive assistant: Ooohh! Are you speaking Spanish or Mexican?
Hull, Quebec
