Dumb Employees

Desk assistant: So what happens if we go on strike? Do we not come to work?

CBS Broadcast Center, 524 West 57th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: This is the future of network news

Dumb girl: So if it is like 6 in California then it’s like 6:30 in Nevada, right?
Dumber girl: No, Nevada’s really close to Cali. It’s probably only like 6:15.

6397 Springfield Mall
Springfield, Virginia

Overheard by: marshamellow

Telephone customer: Hi, I need to find the international rates for calling to France.
Local phone operator: France? That’s in England, right?

55 Water Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: disbelief

Executive assistant: Ooohh! Are you speaking Spanish or Mexican?

Hull, Quebec

Co-Worker #1: Are you going to the training class later today?
Co-Worker #2: No, I don’t have to. I was grandfather clocked into the old training.

Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Intern #1: So is there a difference between homogenous and homogeneous?
Intern #2: Yes, one means “composed of one thing,” and the other is, like, a gay Einstein or something.

Rayburn House Building
Washington, DC

Overheard by: the Best and the Brightest

Female employee: Man, I’m soo busy today. Why is everyone taking advantage of me?
Male employee: I dunno.
Female employee: Oh well, maybe I just let people take advantage of me. It’s just easier that way.
Male employee: Some advice: don’t ever say that in a bar.

Motorola, 1301 East Algonquin Road
Chicago, Illinois

Employee: Someone just called me. They said, “Hello,” and asked if I could help them because they had a question. I didn’t know what to do, so I said, “No,” and hung up. Was that okay?
Boss: I guess that’s one way of handling it.

US Patent and Trademark Office
Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: Why Me?

Co-Worker #1: Hey, what budget number should we use for this? The old one or the new one?
Co-Worker #2: What does that email you printed out and pinned to your wall say?
Co-Worker #1: It says I should use the new one.
Co-Worker #2: Then I think you should use the new one.
Co-Worker #1: Cool, thanks!
Co-Worker #2: No problem.

5201 Paint Branch Parkway
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: i’m glad i don’t work there anymore

Boss: When will you be done with these?
Jackass: I dunno, all I have left is to finish.

Hudson, Wisconsin