Principal: I don’t want the upgrade if it means I have to learn something new. I don’t ever want to have to learn anything new.
1123 Broadway
New York, NY
Principal: I don’t want the upgrade if it means I have to learn something new. I don’t ever want to have to learn anything new.
1123 Broadway
New York, NY
Office Manager: I have to leave to go to physical therapy. I’m not sure how long it will take but I’ll definitely be back before I leave.
1230 York Avenue
New York, NY
VP: Do we really need all 3 engines to fly the plane?
Planner: I think so, it’s a full plane.
VP: What if the plane is half full? Half the engines?
5001 34th Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Boss: Yeah, so when I run a report and it’s taking a long time, I always think, “Am I hung, or what?”.
2202 North West Shore Boulevard
Tampa, Florida
Boss: If he does that I’m going to go down there and beat the fucking crap out of him. They will have to call the cops just to refrain me.
120 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: Training Sherpa
HR Manager: Hey guys, I’m starting a new club in the office. Do you want to join?
Employee: Um sure, what kind of club is it?
HR Manager: It’s a club for people with Wham!’s song “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” stuck in their heads. Congratulations, you are all now members!
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Brian Brinegar
Manager: Aw, did you bleed on my computer?
Tech: No, but a bird shit on it.
50 Vision Blvd
East Providence, Rhode Island
Businesslady: Are there places to order in?
Networking Guy: I’ve got a whole book of places to order in from.
Businesslady: How long does it take?
Networking Guy: How long is a piece of string?
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Senior Partner: How come my computer’s not working?
Techie: It seems your hard drive crashed.
Senior Partner: That’s not possible; I don’t visit porn sites or any drug suppliers.
527 E. 78th Street
New York, NY
In respose to several of our wholesale customers reporting strong on-line sales in December; Boss: We do all the work and they make all the money? We have a website too and it’s time we started reminding these people of that! We need to be making a hell of a lot more money areound here than we are now. Time to start firing a few of these so-called “Top Customers”. That’ll fucking show ’em who’s boss!
800 Boylston Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
