Boss on phone: I was thinking about trying one of those vibrating condoms…Yeah, i’ve heard they are really great…Yeah, reusable. At least I’d re-use them, I’m not paying $15 for one time!…Yeah, I know. I just need to find a guy. I was thinking of calling [Keith] to see what he’s doing on the weekend.
113 Wicks Road
North Ryde, New South Wales
Australia
Manager: …because sometimes we get communications via electronic sending, sometimes through the telephone system.
650 South 6th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Jeff Anderson
Boss: By the way, I changed a lot of your code, so if it breaks, that’s why.
5720 Green Circle Drive
Minnetonka, Minnesota
Boss: There’s no ‘I’ in ‘unity’! Wait… There’s no ‘me’ in ‘team’!
Employees: [Laughter.]
300 East Randolph Street
Chicago, Illinois
Project Manager: I can’t get my numbers to balance with yours.
Budget Analyst: How much are you off by?
Project Manager: About a million.
5000 Ellin Road
Lanham, Maryland
Overheard by: Cantabile
Boss: What you are talking about only adds up to 10% of snake shit
compared to the problems we have.
Meeting: …
2000 West NASA Boulevard
Melbourne, Florida
Boss: It’s not like she’s moving to another state; she’s just moving out of state.
70 Charles Lindbergh Boulevard
Uniondale, New York
Assistant branch manager: Have you ever watched that show called Bizarre Foods?
Employee: No. What is it about?
Assistant branch manager: Well, it’s this show called Bizarre Foods, and they have the most bizarrest foods!
Employee: … Hence the name!
Northwest Parkway
Georgia
Manager, preparing staff party: Oh my God, look! I cut so much cheese I got a blister!
City Centre Building
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: evil twin
Boss: I wonder what I could accomplish if I had 10 more hours in a day and a bucket of speed.
East Street
Goderich, Ontario
Canadia
