Boss: That’s what I hate about these people who take the Bible literally: it’s so pick and choose! What about all the parts where you get stoned for looking at bread the wrong way?
Print shop
Sunset Park, Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: milu
Boss: That’s what I hate about these people who take the Bible literally: it’s so pick and choose! What about all the parts where you get stoned for looking at bread the wrong way?
Print shop
Sunset Park, Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: milu
White executive to black employee wearing brown suit: You're extra brown today.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Manager: So, we should totally take a consensuous on that with the entire team.
Employee: Consensus.
Manager: What?
Employee: Consensus.
Manager, laughing: I should totally carry around a thesaurius with me! [Employee walks away.]
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: BeeMonstre
Boss: I don’t produce much chest hair, but if I did, I would tend to it like a gardener tends to a beautiful tomato.
Waltham, Massachusetts
Manager roaming the halls: I want to hurt somebody.
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Dave
Department head to HR manager: I don’t fucking care who caught Drew* doing who or what in the bathroom! You do not drug test editors two weeks before the deadline!
McKemey Road
Chandler, Arizona
Manager: Just because I’m a manager they are treating me like I can’t be a customer! I wanted to put something on hold and they said, ‘No, that’s for customers.’ I have a key to this bitch! I’ll be all up in here ringing that shit up myself.
Valley Stream, New York
Overheard by: J-Face
Manager: I've got it up. I just don't know how to use it.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Doug's Mom
Manager to petrified new waitress: Relax, dammit! I said to relax!
8511 Lilley Road
Canton, Michigan
Overheard by: Megan
Boss: Did you find that receipt?
Underling: No, it’s not in the receipt file. I checked every receipt for the last six months. It’s not there.
Boss: Why don’t you look again?
Underling: I knew you’d ask, so I looked twice already. It’s not there. Is there somewhere else that you put receipts?
Boss: No, only the receipt file. But if it’s not in there, it’s not a big deal. Later today, if you have time, why don’t you look again in the file?
Underling: Okay, but if it’s not there now, it won’t be there later.
Boss: Yeah okay, but why don’t you just look again?
1028 East Private Road 1200 North
Farmersburg, Indiana
