They’re Both Wrong — He’s an IT Guy

Receptionist: This morning I was sitting up here and I looked out the window in the courtyard and there was a guy getting dressed.
Guy: Black guy? Construction boots? [Receptionist nods.] Yeah, he sleeps there.
Receptionist: Hmmm. I wouldn’t think you’d wanna sleep in the courtyard of an office.
Guy: Well, I imagine if you’re homeless that’s one of the better spots.
Receptionist: Oh, I didn’t realize he was homeless. I just thought he was resting or whatever…

2931 North Druid Hills Road
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on March 16, 2015
Consultants, Georgia, Gossip

Jessica Simpson Finally Gets It

Consultant: Oh my god, sorry! I'm slow. And like… dumb.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: meeting jockey

Posted on March 13, 2015
Consultants, General Idiocy, Illinois, Insults

Haven’t We Been Through This?

CSR lady: Looks like you two are gonna have to conversate via email from now on.
Intern: Conversate? You mean ‘converse’?
CSR lady: I mean ‘conversate.’ Same damn thing.

8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Nikki

Posted on March 12, 2015
Consultants, General Idiocy, Interns & Temps, Maryland

Before I Go in and Ask This Focus Group of Five-Year-Olds

Customer service associate to graphic artist: Yeah, I just wanted to get your uninformed opinion on that file.

Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on March 10, 2015
Consultants, General Idiocy, Meetings, Tennessee

And All Pointing in the Right Direction

Woman on phone: Well, it’ll be nice to have teeth in your mouth again.

10 Exchange Place
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on March 8, 2015
Consultants, New Jersey, On the phone

The Only Case in New York

Somber attorney on phone: I’ve got some very bad news… I just got off the phone with the vet, and little Bobo’s sick… He’s got a case of bad attitude. That’s right, a bad attitude.

Empire State Building
New York, New York

Overheard by: Guy Smiley

Posted on February 24, 2015
Consultants, New York, Threats

When English’s Ambiguities Come Home to Roost

Writer handing director a piece of peppermint bark: Be careful. It’s very hard on your teeth.
Designer: It can really do some damage.
Marketing director: You guys are going about it all wrong. You have to learn to eat it like a beaver.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona