European: Did you just use the word “impetus”? I think you’re the first American I have heard use that word.
3695 Freedom Circle
Santa Clara, California
Overheard by: bbs
European: Did you just use the word “impetus”? I think you’re the first American I have heard use that word.
3695 Freedom Circle
Santa Clara, California
Overheard by: bbs
Co-Worker on phone: I feel like seeing a movie. Okay, what’s it called?…Who wears Prada?…Fidelo?
330 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Violet White
Hostess: Thank you for calling Napa 29, how can I help you?…I’m sorry, sir, this is a restaurant, not an auto parts store…No sir, this is not Napa Auto Parts…No, sir…Sir, this is a restaurant. I don’t know how much a carburetor costs…Sir, I really don’t…Three hundred dollars and eighty nine cents…Yes, sir. Have a nice evening.
280 Teller Street, Suite 130
Corona, California
Overheard by: Sara
Warehouse worker: You look nice today. You going somewhere after this?
Girl in dress: No, I just wanted to air out my vagina.
Emeryville, California
Overheard by: warehouse peon
Intern: I’m sorry that I didn’t turn in my time sheet on Friday. I was on vacation and didn’t have access to a computer.
Payroll official: Well, I’ll let it go this time. Just don’t keep us in lingo again.
130 Cremona Drive
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: A disbelieving employee
Tech #1: Did you see this consumer complaint? “Your cereal gave me herpes and AIDS.” I guess we’re giving out AIDS as a special promotion.
Tech #2: We’re putting blood in the product now?
Tech #1: Knowing this place, more likely it’s semen.
901 East Whitmore
Modesto, California
Overheard by: Changing my breakfast plans
Staffer: I understand you want to complete a living will.
Patient: That’s right.
Staffer: Do you know what this means?
Patient: Yes, it means I don’t want to be kept alive if I’m in a persistent vegetarian state.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Coworker: I didn’t mean to diss Madonna! It’s just that I feel at this moment in my life, I’m over her.
163 Freelon Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper
Secretary: So, the next time you shut the door to take one of your sex calls, I’m going to nail it closed!
311 Main Road
Point Mugu, California
Overheard by: mookie
Coworker #1: Have you been to Joey’s*? It’s awesome.
Coworker #2: Not in a long time. Not since it was a deli.
Coworker #1: Oh, you should go. They have those big hooba wooba pipes…Hooba booba…Hooba hooba pipes?
Coworker #2: Do you mean hookas?
Coworker #1: Yeah.
330 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Violet White
