A Trick I Can Also Perform on Command, at Parties.

Male coworker #1: I'm having trouble concentrating today.
Male coworker #2: That's because you can't stop looking at me.
Male coworker #1: Every time I look at you, my retinas vomit into my glasses.

Ballarat
Australia

Overheard by: vMan

Posted on July 10, 2009
Australia, Body Parts, Comebacks, Coworkers, Physical Appearance

…And the Reverand Will Pronounce You Man and Wife

Employee: So, you just cut the head off…

Sydney
Australia

Posted on June 26, 2009
Australia, Crimes, Death, Employees, Weirdness

Australian Business Customs: The Short Course

Female boss: Guys will be swapping body fluids more than anyone else!

Mitchelton
Brisbane
Australia

Overheard by: Beka

Posted on June 24, 2009
Australia, Body Parts, Bosses, Sexuality, Weirdness

I Was Just Being Tactful Since You Voted for McCain

PC coworker: John is nice, very talented and I think he has a lot to contribute to the project… Now he's been brought in.
Honest coworker: I think he's a shit-for-brains, knob jockey.
PC coworker: …yeah, me too.

Grenfell
Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: PC to the end

Posted on May 12, 2009
Australia, Compliments, Coworkers, Insults

It's Contagious

Women #1 to friend leaving bathroom: How long were you in there?
Women #2: Not long enough, trust me!
Women #1: What were you doing, your hair?
Women #2: Not even close.
Women #1: Tell me.
Women #2, speaking closer and whispering: Masturbating.
Women #1: Oh.
(women #1 walks to the bathroom)

Herald Sun
Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Lucie

Posted on March 11, 2009
Australia, Friends, Questions, Restroom, Sexuality

Abuse Victims Make Excellent Employees

Account executive: It's Mike's birthday today!
Mike: It is not.
CEO: Oh well, time for the ritual birthday sodomy, anyway.

Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: IT Dude

Posted on March 6, 2009
Age and ageing, Australia, Bosses, Employees, Sexuality, Weirdness

“No They're Not!”

Waitress #1: Oh my god, a couple out there are arguing about whether squid and calamari are the same thing.
(waitress #1 and #2 laugh)
Waitress #1: Are they?
Waitress #2: …yes.

Adelaide
South Australia
Australia

Posted on January 21, 2009
Australia, Coworkers, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks

Everything She Knows About Male Anatomy She Learned from Her Ken Doll

Coffee girl #1: Yeah, he's hot but he has weird thighs.
Coffee girl #2: Do guys have thighs? I mean, I know they have legs but do they have thighs?
Coffee girl #1: Ummm…

Wollongong
Australia

Posted on December 17, 2008
Australia, Body Parts, Friends, General Idiocy, Questions

Who Knew Mrs. Claus Was a Top?

Working bee, quietly: Santa Claus, you cunt!

King Street
Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: highly amused

Posted on December 10, 2008
Australia, Body Parts, Employees, Insults, Weirdness

One Day I'm Going to Crochet That on a Little Pillow

Bar girl: So you haven't picked up in a year?
Bouncer: Look, it has to be right. I can pick up a girl, ball-gag her and fuck her in the ass, but sometimes I want to cuddle too.

Bar
Melbourne
Austrailia

Posted on August 15, 2008
Australia, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Feelings, Questions, Sexuality, Time Management