White office girl #1, about racist Miley Cyrus picture: So, yeah, I actually found that photo way more offensive than the topless one in Vogue.
White office girl #2: But it wasn't racist. It was just a joke about how funny they look.
White office girl #1: Yeah, I see your point.
Adelaide Central Market
Australia
Senior partner, leaving office: So don't worry, I'll have those figures for you tomorrow.
(elevator doors shut)
Senior partner, to assistant: But anyway, he picked up the mannequin and started biting the fingers off it.
Assistant: No! What did Jenny say?
Senior partner: She was in the bath the whole time! She didn't see a thing!
Assistant: Oh my god! Was that before she came out and found the Puerto Rican guy on the beanbag?
Senior partner: Yes! And by this time, my mother had already left, so Jenny and I just had to get everything of importance out of the lounge room and lock the doors.
Assistant: That's amazing!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Kate
Male coworker #1: I'm having trouble concentrating today.
Male coworker #2: That's because you can't stop looking at me.
Male coworker #1: Every time I look at you, my retinas vomit into my glasses.
Ballarat
Australia
Overheard by: vMan
Female boss: Guys will be swapping body fluids more than anyone else!
Mitchelton
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: Beka
PC coworker: John is nice, very talented and I think he has a lot to contribute to the project… Now he's been brought in.
Honest coworker: I think he's a shit-for-brains, knob jockey.
PC coworker: …yeah, me too.
Grenfell
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: PC to the end
Women #1 to friend leaving bathroom: How long were you in there?
Women #2: Not long enough, trust me!
Women #1: What were you doing, your hair?
Women #2: Not even close.
Women #1: Tell me.
Women #2, speaking closer and whispering: Masturbating.
Women #1: Oh.
(women #1 walks to the bathroom)
Herald Sun
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Lucie
Account executive: It's Mike's birthday today!
Mike: It is not.
CEO: Oh well, time for the ritual birthday sodomy, anyway.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: IT Dude
Waitress #1: Oh my god, a couple out there are arguing about whether squid and calamari are the same thing.
(waitress #1 and #2 laugh)
Waitress #1: Are they?
Waitress #2: …yes.
Adelaide
South Australia
Australia
Coffee girl #1: Yeah, he's hot but he has weird thighs.
Coffee girl #2: Do guys have thighs? I mean, I know they have legs but do they have thighs?
Coffee girl #1: Ummm…
Wollongong
Australia
