Boss: You shouldn’t throw glass stones at a house!
155 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Boss: You shouldn’t throw glass stones at a house!
155 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Female coworker to male coworker: You need to squeeze as you smell the hole to make air come out.
Richmond, Virginia
Vet examining dog with anal abscess: All this dog needs is an hour alone with its butt and its tongue.
Washington, DC
Worker bee: Seriously, you just should not name your dog after a rapist…
Medical office
Florida
Overheard by: The DM
Manager: Yes, next week we’ll all be in Mexico.
Woman #1: I hope you are going to relax this vacation.
Manager: I feel if I don’t run around and see everything, I’m wasting the experience.
Woman #2: Let me explain something clearly to you: vacation is sex, food, sleep, more sex, more sex.
Manager: [Stunned.]Woman #2: That’s why you never come back relaxed. Sex, sex, nap, sex. Repeat that.
Garden State Mall
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Woman #3
Student: So, now we have an extra microscope. Could we return it and get credit from the company?
Professor: Let’s sell it on the black market and use the money for a really big party!
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
New girl: I’m excited about the new direction of the company!
Boss: Um, we try to avoid saying ‘new direction’ around here.
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: Amused coworker
Woman to boss: You should absolutely take your daughter to see To Kill a Mockingbird. Unless, of course, you’re worried about rape.
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Waitress #1: I can’t tuck this corner. I suck at folding napkins.
Waitress #2: We should just make a monopoly line with this.
Waitress #1: [Stares blankly.]Waitress #2: You know, a monopoly line? I’ll start it, you finish it. We’ll get this done faster.
34 Cooper Square
New York, New York
Lieutenant: I’m so cooold!
Major: There’s a black fleece over there.
Lieutenant: I prefer to tough it out.
Major: Relax! It’s not war.
Camp Arifjan
Kuwait
