Lawyer with door wide open: No, man. No, it was just a booty call.
Near Dupont Circle
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Booty Call Receptionist
Lawyer with door wide open: No, man. No, it was just a booty call.
Near Dupont Circle
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Booty Call Receptionist
Suit ordering drink: Um, I just really want something that’s going to fuck me up.
Exasperated waitress: Honestly, I’m going to fuck you up in a second if you don’t order.
13th and U Streets
Washington, DC
Office guy #1: Apparently we can’t have mechanical pencils anymore.
Office guy #2: Dammit! That supply czar is drunk with power.
1255 23rd Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Kristen
White coworker, with food in mouth: Are you going upstairs?
Black coworker: I’m sorry, what? I don’t speak cracker. [White coworker gasps.] I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant you had a cracker in your mouth!
White coworker: Sure you did!
D Street SW
Washington, DC
Caller on speakerphone: Is so-and-so in?
Office girl: No, he’s out for the week.
Caller on speakerphone: Okay, well, I had you transfer me to what’s-his-name before. Is he in?
Office girl: No, I think he’s gone for the day.
Caller on speakerphone: Do you even work there, or are you just an answering service?
Office girl: Ummm…
Wisconsin Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Five-year-old boy, visiting dad’s law firm: I wish I could work here. One day, I’m gonna become a liar so I can work here.
Father: ‘Lawyer.’ It’s pronounced lawyer.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: amco
Manager, during meeting: … And we just don’t want any Joe Schmoe helping people on the phone… No offense, Joe.
Joe, phone answerer: Mmm.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Celebratious
Manager #1, to temp: So, listen — you’ll be in charge of the department today while we’re at an all-staff meeting. But ain’t no cameras here, so you can use this space to roller skate while we’re gone.
Manager #2: Yeah, or stand on the desk.
Manager #3: Or take a doody.
15th Street
Washington, DC
Old man peon looking at photograph: This is dated 1873 — a year before Pabst won the ribbon!
Washington, DC
Senior officer: The event went really well. The speaker was fantastic.
Mid-level officer: Oh, who was the speaker?
Senior officer, after long pause: I gotta go.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
