My Timberlands Really Would’ve Come in Handy in This Weather

Girl looking out window at rain: I picked a bad day to go straight.

Clarksville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Girl 3

Posted on March 21, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Sexuality, Tennessee, Time Management

If You’ll Come to Work As Little Bo Peep, Yes

Finance director: Is Halloween on the 28th this year?

E 9th & Lyon Street
Des Moines, Iowa

Overheard by: Receptionist

Posted on March 21, 2008
Default, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Holidays, Iowa, Questions, Time Management

A Whore Gets Paid for It and a Tramp Eats Spaghetti with Dogs

Lady worker bee: C’mon, you know you were skanky before you got married.
Male worker bee: No, I wasn’t. I may have been a slut, but not a skank.
Lady worker bee: What’s the difference?
Male worker bee: A skank is a slut that doesn’t bathe.

4768 Church Road
Platteville, Wisconsin

Posted on March 19, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Sexuality, Time Management, Wisconsin, Words

His Agenda Item Turned Out to Be a Hard One, Though

Manager #1, about speaking at staff meeting: Do you want to go first? Mine is pretty long.
Manager #2: Well, mine is really short, so yeah, it’ll be easier if I go first.

Route 9
Framingham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: biting my lip

Posted on March 13, 2008
Bosses, Compare and contrast, Default, Massachusetts, Questions, Time Management, Words

So If You Continue to Be Full of It, You Live Forever?

Suit to others: I guess he had a heart attack, man. He was on the john for two and a half weeks!

East Marginal Way
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: What?!?

Posted on March 6, 2008
Default, Health & Hygiene, Restroom, Suits, Time Management, Washington

Someone’s Gotta Give Him the Full Lube Service

Nurse: We need you to be here for the duration of your brother’s procedure. He should be done in 15 minutes or so.
20-something mechanic: Do I need to be here? [Points at floor.] Or here? [Points at room.] Because that is one flashlight I don’t wanna hold!

Proctologist’s office
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: but he’s taken a shine to you!

Posted on February 28, 2008
Advice, Arizona, Blue Collar, Default, Family, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Nurses, Time Management

Sorry, I Got a Light-Duty Slip from My Doctor

Clerk: You got time to whip this big one out?

1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Doug’s Mom

Posted on February 11, 2008
Employees, Nebraska, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Time Management

They Don’t Get Tender All by Themselves

Female go-getter: Well, I just went ahead and did it since you guys were just sitting on your loins.

3201 West Commercial Boulevard
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: you really are disgusting

Posted on February 7, 2008
Florida, Smart Employees, Time Management

The Hazards of the Octopus Calendar

Female supervisor: Ewww!
CCR: What?
Female supervisor: I was trying to find January, and I got ink all over me!

1 Ivybrook Boulevard
Ivyland, Pennsylvania

Posted on February 6, 2008
Bosses, Customer Service, Gripes, Pennsylvania, Time Management

That’s “Mr. Bag” to You

Employee #1, 45 minutes after asked to perform simple task: Here are those documents you wanted. All the copies are underneath the one that’s on top of it.
Employee #2: Listen, shitbag — I was actually hoping to go to lunch today, so spare me the retard explanations, please! [To another employee] Do we have an ODP employee section we could put her in?
Employee #3: Nah. We’re still just using that dumpster out front.

132 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on January 25, 2008
Coworkers, Gripes, Insults, Massachusetts, Time Management

Time Management