Hardhat: Don’t eat the tuna salad in the cafeteria. It made me throw up.
Suit: Food poisoning takes a while. How long did it take to make you sick?
Hardhat: About 5 seconds. All I can figure is, someone must’ve put fish in it – I’m allergic to fish.
7th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Suit: Let me introduce you to our crackhead intern…[Patrick].
51 West 52nd Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: E-nigmatic
Suit: Who knew she had a sense of humor? She seems like someone more amused by insects mating on National Geographic.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Suit: When are you going to wear that neon green shirt?
Businesswoman: Oh, that shirt. He said he didn’t like it, so I looked at it and I thought, “You know what? He’s right!” It was hideous! So I went right away to that flea market place? The thrift store. Now someone else can wear it. Probably some homeless lady! Ha, ha, ha!
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Suit: She graciously volunteered to confirm tomorrow’s interviews. She says she likes people.
Supervisor: I find that hard to believe. She’s from Detroit.
1252 Memorial Drive
Goral Gables, Florida
Suit #1: Yo, you tried that new Office?
Suit #2: What?
Suit #1: That new Microsoft Office 2008, 2009 or whatever.
Suit #2: Yeah.
Suit #1: That shit is hot!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: algernon
Suit #1: Hey, Jeff*, has there ever been a Friday-the-13th on a Monday?
Suit #2: Uh…
Suit #1: Man, that would be the worst day ever.
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Suit: The other way I learned it, from Schoolhouse Rock, is that the alligator is hungry and so wants to bite the larger one.
Woman coworker: Ohhh… I see. That would confuse me, because it’s got animals.
919 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: i guess graduating elementary school just was
Queer peon: You need to shave.
Scruffy suit: Shaving's for homos!
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Not Homo
Older lady suit on conference call: My hero is having babies today.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: in the cubicle next to her
